


Faded Lips ||Frerard||

by Edgy_mcMCR



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2019-08-26 23:23:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 23,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16690894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Edgy_mcMCR/pseuds/Edgy_mcMCR
Summary: Frank Iero. Outcast, freak, nobody. Been through trauma most people wouldn't dream of. At the age of 18, he roams the streets of his city in search of a purpose. That purpose comes in the unexpected form of fellow 18-year-old Gerard Way, who's fighting outside of a strip bar when he clearly swings the other way. The two bond quickly over their situations and find that maybe, just maybe, they can find comfort in each other's pain.Cover created by  @AlanaMars1 on Wattpad





	1. Warnings/ disclaimers/ author's links

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Links  
> ~~~~~~~~~  
> Tumblr: @gerardwaymorelikegerardgay  
> Twitter: @waymorelikegay  
> Email: Angelsmadefromneonandgarbage@gmail.com

Hello there! As the author, I would like to hereby state the things below:

-I have nothing against the people mentioned. I simply needed to change them for the sake of the story.

-There is mention of abuse, death, smoking/alcohol consumption and homophobia

-If you have a problem with this ship, don't yell at me in the comments. Just go to a different book

-If you end up crying and/or feeling very emotional, I'm not responsible sorry lol

And now, for the story! I hope you enjoy!

~Gee

 

~author's links~

Gmail: angelsmadeofneonandgarbage

Twitter: Geeisnottoogay


	2. Part one

_'Turn away. If you could, get me a drink of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded'_

Frank Iero roamed the streets, hoping the tear streaks on his face would fade away in the darkness. Lights in the city shone brightly with the power of a thousand stars, all the while making Frank feel dimmer by the second. Shaking his head, he looked away from the bright billboards and kept his eyes on the ground. There simply wasn't a point in straining his already burning eyes. All the billboards were the same; making you spend all your money on useless shit. The whole world had suddenly become meaningless to Frank Iero. All his heroes shamelessly shoved products down his throat. All the music sounded the same. Even the colors of the neon lights all blended together in the gentle rain that had begun while Frank was lost in thought. Looking up at the sky, he let the rain fall on his tear-stained face. He was probably going to ruin his leather jacket, but fuck it. He simply didn't care anymore. People walked by, giving him looks and wondering what he was doing. Clearly, they didn't understand the death sentence Frank had just received. For, unfortunately, Frank Anthony Thomas Iero, Jr. had just been formally diagnosed with a deadly case of HIV. His immune system was slowly dying with every breath he took. So, all of the sudden, standing in the middle of the street and letting the rain pour down on him didn't seem so bad anymore.

"HEY! WATCH IT, FREAK!" A voice called as a car veered around Frank. He snapped back to reality, watching the car go by and continue to travel dangerously close to a few pedestrians on the sidewalk. Shaking his head and sighing, Frank adjusted his jacket. He'd always hated wearing leather since it was a very inhumane process to make it. Now, he didn't mind so much. It made him feel more... grounded, as if wearing dead things made him feel less dead. To his dismay, feeling less dead is a very hard thing to do.

Continuing on his walk, he found himself outside of a strip bar. The only reason he knew it was so was because of the flashing neon sign of a girl lifting up her skirt. "FIVE WILL GET YOU TEN" The sign read, making it all the more clear what the purpose of the bar was. Frank shook his head and shuddered. He was very much gay, so places like this normally made him uncomfortable. If that wasn't enough, a place like this was where...  _it_ happened. He briskly moved past the bar. The less he could be reminded of that, the better. Strip clubs were meant for pleasure. They had since become Frank's tomb.

The sound of bone crunching disrupted his mind, derailing his train of thought once again. He instantly turned to his right, looking down a long, bricked alley. There was a fight, of course. Why wouldn't there be a fight? It is right outside of a strip club, after all. There were two people, one clearly being advantaged. One man, bald and covered in tattoos, stood at around presumably 6"6 and was very muscular. However, it was the disadvantaged one that caught his attention. The other was wearing a red leather jacket, white shirt, and black skinny jeans. They were clearly drunk, their long, unkempt and poorly-dyed red hair falling in their eyes. They stood at only around 5"9, which made the other look like Goliath compared to the smaller, more androgynous-looking drunk. Instinctively pulling out his pocket blade, Frank ran up to the two and pointed the knife at each of them which clearly caught both of their attention and caused the fighting to cease.

"Break it up, you two! Whatever it was, I'm sure it's not worth a brawl in the back of a strip club." Frank stated assertively, causing the taller man to roll his eyes and leave. He turned to the smaller, more beaten-up person. "Are you okay?"

"Ha! No." They admitted, slurring their words together like they could be simply smudged with a quick swipe of your thumb. Sighing, Frank walked over and examined the damage (which was very much there, considering the noise heard earlier and the blood dripping on to the ground. Frank took off his shirt and ripped off the sleeves, creating makeshift bandages for the other's bleeding face.

"My name's Frank. I go by he/him. What about you?" He asked, gently lifting up the other's chin and dabbing the fabric at the blood oozing from their nose.

"Uhhh." The other thought for a second, their green-ish brown-ish eyes meeting Frank's dark brown hues. "Gerard. But I go by Gee sometimes. He/they." And just like that, smile eased onto Frank's face for the first time in forever. Gerard's heart fluttered faintly, hard to notice through all of the booze but still there.

"Well, Gerard, it's nice to meet you." Frank said, his smile quickly returning to the determined look before. "I need better lighting to assess the damage. Do you have a house I can take you to or anywhere to stay for the night?" Worry crawled it's way into Frank's voice, remembering the last time he.... Nevermind.

"Nope! I got kicked out a month ago and I've been on the streets ever since." Gerard said with a misplaced sense of pride in his voice. Frank sighed and shook his head, gently taking Gerard's hand in his own. Frank normally would've freaked out at the contact with a stranger, but not anymore.

"I can take you back to my apartment. If that's okay, that is." Frank suggested, trying his best to remain calm and keep the other calm as well. Gerard nodded woozily and clutched the bloody fabric to his nose upon Frank gesturing for him to do so. Frank released the other's hand and wrapped an arm around Gerard's shoulders, leading him onward. The two walked all the way back to Frank's apartment, which wasn't too far. His neighbors, who had been at a party, winked at him when he walked by with Gerard leaning on him. Frank shook his head and smiled wryly before entering his apartment with the drunk stranger. Frank's apartment wasn't the greatest, but it was home to him. One bedroom, one bathroom, one Frank but enough mess to suit four people. What could Frank say? He liked to make messes. Gerard spotted a beanbag chair on the floor (Frank's replacement for a couch) and instantly curled up into a ball on it without a word. Snoring came from the drunk stranger in only around a minute or two, not giving Frank any time to ask any further questions. Sighing, Frank grabbed a cup from the kitchen cupboards and turned on the faucet, letting the clear liquid flow into the cup. Shutting off the faucet, he drank the glass quickly and sighed as softly as possible. He ran his thumb across his lip, feeling how rough they felt. Even after drinking an above average amount of water today, his lips still felt like sandpaper. It wasn't like it really mattered anyway. He was going to die eventually. Why should he take care of himself now? Well, he didn't exactly have a choice with everything. Frank's eyes started closing rapidly as he began to pass out. He did his best to stagger to his bed and collapsed, falling asleep instantly. The two of them slept soundly that night, both dragged into unconciousness by forces that weren't their own.

~

Gerard groaned as he opened his eyes, rubbing them vigorously and sitting up with a start. "Where....the fuck am I?" He questioned out loud, attempting to stand up but immediatley sitting back down. Diiiiiiizzy. There was no way he was getting up soon. Well, actually, he did get up very soon, since he started throwing up around a minute later. Frank awoke to the sound of the other vomiting. What a pleasant surprise. He rolled out of bed, still in all of his clothes from last night, and wandered to the bathroom to assist Gerard. Frank held the other's hair back for a good half an hour as the excessive amounts of alcohol slowly left Gerard's stomach.

Whenever Gee got drunk, he got  _severely_ drunk. He'd been close to a deadly amount of alcohol in his blood around 10 times in the past year or two, which really wasn't an easy thing to achieve. You had to  _really_  try to reach that point, and Gerard sure as hell tried.

As soon as the vomiting ceased, Gerard mumbled something about taking a shower, which cued Frank to leave.

"I'll make some breakfast and coffee," Frank added semi-cheerfully, trying his best to sound optimistic. It was especially hard for him, since he was pretty pesimistic 24/7. Before his diagnosis, he had always been that asshole that pretends not to care but really cares. Now, he just didn't have time to keep up the badass aesthetic and the moody-ness. 2 years isn't enough time to do much of anything, really. Pouring some coffee beans into his retro coffee maker, he set that on 'brew' and began to work on the rest of breakfast.

Meanwhile, Gerard stepped in the steaming hot shower and shuddered. He's set it to the hottest setting, hoping it would wake him up some. Gee didn't dare look down at himself in fear of feeling shittier than he already did. Most days, Gee felt more masculine and his clothing reflected that. He shuttered as he ran a hand down his chest in an attempt to wash off the gross feeling that vomit left him with. Yeah. Today was definitely a 'they' day. They squirted some shampoo into their hair and washed it as fast as possible, not wanting to dwell in the shower longer than needed. WIth clothes on, they could cope with being a biological male. Without, not so much. The water below their feet quickly turned redder than blood.

"HOLY FUCK-" Gee yelled in surprise, hugging themselves quickly and backing into the corner of the white, semi-clean shower. Their breathing quickened, their hands shook, their teeth chattered, despite how warm the shower really was. The water slowly returned to its normal color, easing Gee's panic ever so slightly.

A knock came at the door, with a soft "You okay?"

"Yup. A-okay." Gee replied, their voice shaking. They ran their hand through their hair and looked at their hand. Oh. Right. Their hair dye. Honestly, they thought-

Nevermind.

They shut off the shower and wrapped a towel around their midsection, covering their flat chest that somehow felt wrong today. Eyes falling to their floor, they sighed and shook their head. Not only did their clothes not match their gender today, they were also covered in throw-up. Looks like he was going to have to ask Frank for some.

Frank forced a smile as he heard the door to the shower open. "Good morning, sunshi-" His eyes fell upon the very close to naked Gee and he blushed immensely, averting his eyes.

"Hey. Um....can I borrow some clothes? Mine are kind of....covered in puke." Gee asked, blushing as well.

"Yeah....yeah sure." Frank scrambled to his room, trying his best not to lose his mind. Just from what he could see of Gee's naked figure, they were h o t. Of course, it wasn't much, but Frank didn't exactly need to see much anyway. Frank was the gayest that gay could be, so as you could understand, this made his heart bang around inside of his chest. "Are jeans and a t-shirt okay?" Frank asked before prying open a dresser drawer and searching around for something relativley clean. Frank made a mental note to do laundry as soon as he could.

"Um...." Gee looked around the messy, bare apartment and sighed. "Yup." They really wanted to wear something a little more feminine today, but they had no money, so it was impossible to get access to anything like that. Frank came out of the room and tossed Gee a pair of ripped, black jeans, a green day t-shirt and a pair of boxers. Gee blushed even more and shuffled back into the bathroom without another word, trying their best not to completely die of embarrassment.

As soon as they closed the door, Frank groaned and banged his head against the counter nearby. Why did the universe have to do this to him? Why can't he just waste away in peace?

Stupid universe.


	3. Part two

Later, after quite a long day of napping for Gee and housework for Frank, the two finally found themselves bored out of their minds with nothing to do and hell, the boredom was killing both of them. Gee rubbed their eyes ever so slightly, smudging their freshly done eyeliner ("You can keep that. I definitely don't want it back now." Wow. Real nice, Frank). They sighed and got up to go fix it, strolling into the bathroom and grumbling. Uncapping the small pencil, they applied it to the rim of their eyelids.

"So.... do you want to do something today? I mean, I work from home mostly, so that won't be an issue." Frank called from the living room, staring at the nearly empty fridge before him. He hadn't exactly been eating recently, so he didn't need much food. Now, at least, he had someone who needed it.

Gee bit their lip as their eyes fell to the sink below them. They truly did want to enjoy this random stranger-  _Frank_ , and his kindness. But all Gee could think about was their next drink. Getting their next drink and getting another pack of cigarettes and going to another strip club where they could suppress their longing for men. There was no way that they would ever go back another one of  _those_  bars. The last time that happened, they were-

"Sure. I mean, I've got some money, so I wouldn't mind it." Gee responded hesitantly, not wanting to think about the memories creeping into their mind. That was a common thing they did, block out their thoughts. That was pretty much the only way they'd learned to cope with the ghosts of their past.

Frank thought for a moment, closing the fridge before his eyes fell on the coffee maker. He had always burned any cup of coffee he ever made, so it had been quite a while since he had a decent cup of coffee. And fuck, after last night, he needed a better than decent cup of coffee. "How does going to a café sound?"

Gee walked out of the bathroom with a grin on their face, evidence of last night's ordeal contrasting the joyous expression they were making. "That sounds....great! I'm a coffeeholic, honestly." Their smile faded noticeably, but they tried their best to look happy, at least. "I just haven't had much time for coffee."

At that, Frank smirked ever so slightly "Well, it appears we have all the time in the world now." And nothing stung more than the irony of that statement. They really didn't have all the time in the world. Frank only had 2 years, max. But then again, why was he worried about  _their_  time? He really should be worrying about  _his_  time. But Gee  _was_  really cute. BUT, Frank didn't have long enough left to live for a commitment. But....

"Frank? Hello?" Gee asked, snapping their fingers in his face with a sassy tone. Sassy and snarky was usually Gee's default setting. Frank had saved their life the night before, so Gee felt obligated to dial back the rude-levels a bit.

"Sorry!" Frank exclaimed, snapping out of his daze. "Are you okay with walking? I don't own a car." Gee looked a little puzzled by the situation, but they shrugged it off as a shy smile spread across their face.

"Sure." Opening the apartment door, they walked out in that little, feminine manner that they always did. It was actually a skill to be learned, not just something that came naturally. Especially for someone with almost non-existent hips. Gee developed this way of walking over time since they noticed it got the attention of the other men in high school. They had even taught it to some girls in the school, oddly enough. It sure as hell did its job because Frank caught himself staring as he closed his apartment door behind him. Gee didn't seem to notice. Didn't  _seem_.

"Hey! Wait up, will you? I can't walk that fast!" Frank called, running a bit to keep up. He clocked it in around 5"3, which was quite short compared to Gee. Gee only smirked in response and walked a little slower.

"Oh sorry, Shortstack. Little legs can't keep up?" They teased, looking back at Frank with their smirk still present.

"Fuck off. I'm just the right hight to kick you in the balls, so I'd watch your back if I were you." Frank teased right back, hardly showing any signs of offense. It was weird, how quickly the two had bonded. They had hardly even known each other for a day, but finding Gee drunk on the street somehow made Frank feel closer to them. Frank had seen Gee at a really vulnerable point, which probably explained the closeness. The two walked out of the building fairly in silence, catching the occasional glance at each other while the other wasn't looking. It was only a few minutes before they reached the café. That just goes to show how little will Frank often had to leave his house. He had everything he ever needed, so there wasn't really a point in leaving. Now, he had a reason to go out.

Upon reaching the cafe, Frank held the door for Gee with a bow while the other rolled their eyes and walked inside.

"Hi there, Frank. Long time, no see." The barista said sarcastically, rolling his eyes at the two. The barista had shoulder-length, curly brown hair that was practically untamable. The only reason it looked remotely neat was that it was tied back in a ponytail (employee protocol). Just that alone was enough to identify him as Ray Toro, Frank's childhood best friend. The two had grown apart immensely, but they still considered themselves acquaintances in the very least.

"Sorry, bro. Just been busy lately." Frank lied, brushing himself off and looking to Gee, who only blushed and looked away.

"Gonna introduce me to your boyfriend?" Ray asked. Frank looked back at Gee, stealing the cherry-haired's gaze.

"Hey, what are your pronouns today?" Frank whispered. And at that, Gee couldn't help but smile. Frank really ....seemed.... to care, which made Gee's heart skip a few beats. Their face flushed, despite the heavy blush set on their face.

"Uh....they/them. And Gee."

"Well," Frank started, looking back to Ray. "Their name is Gee. And they're not my partner. They're staying for a night or two." At that, Ray raised an eyebrow and with a glare from Frank, he shrugged and looked back at the two.

"Cool. What do you two want?"

"I'll take just a regular hot coffee, turbo shot" Frank stated, winking at Ray with a mischievous look in his eye.

"I'll take a double shot iced espresso with double caramel and double extra sugar," Gee added without blinking. Double shot iced....whatever? Frank snorted at that and just started hysterically laughing. Smirking, Ray slunk back behind the counter and began the two's orders.   
  


"What are you laughing at?" They asked with a splash of venom, only making Frank laugh harder.

"Oh my god. You are such a basic bitch."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Good god, we sound like 4-year-olds," Gee concluded, shutting down the fake argument. Their eyes fell to the floor as Ray came out with their drinks. Frank gave Ray the money due, refusing to take Gee's, and lead the cherry-haired stranger to a table nearby. A small chuckles escaped Frank's lips as he took a sip of his coffee, trying to look fuckin' anywhere but at the beautiful stranger in front of him. It was quite impossible, unfortunately. Gee was... gorgeous. They had very striking, intense features that could be softened in an instant when needed. Their eyes shone with the light of a thousand stars, which contradicted the whole 'dark and edgy thing' he assumed they were trying to convey. They were fucking hot, which didn't help Frank's case one bit. On the other hand, Frank was incredibly attractive to Gee. They would never admit that, of course. Never admit that Frank's amber colored eyes mesmerized Gee in a way no one else could ever.

"Why are you so nice to me?" Gee blurted out, realizing that they had been sitting in silence for quite a while. Frank's grin faded considerably, but he tried his best to keep it genuine.

"Well, I wouldn't be if I hadn't just gotten the worst news of my life." He said in an oddly cheerful manner, trying not to dull the mood.

"Whatever," Gee replied, shaking their head with a smile. Frank smiled ever so slightly as well, taking a sip of coffee.

"You wanna tell me why you were in a fight outside of a bar, especially when you're only 18?"

"What, are you my dad now?"

"I could be if you wanted." Frank teased, taking another sip with a smirk.

"Oh shut up." Frank was genuinely surprised by himself. Making sex jokes? So soon? It's only been a month or so since..... nevermind.

"Okay, okay. But still. Why were you at a bar? You're underage. Also, I wouldn't have expected to see you at a ....female strip bar."

"Are you calling me gay, Mr. Stranger?"

"Maaaaybe. You still haven't answered my question."

Sighing softly, Gee looked at the ground before their expression suddenly turning angry. "Hey! How did you know my age?"

Frank simply held up the other's driver's license, which made Gee curse upon seeing it.

"Fine. Well," Gee started. "They think I'm 21. Fake ID. Why do you care anyway?"

And at that, Frank's eyes filled with sadness, but a fiery passion as well.

"Because, I swear to god, I will fix you to the best of my ability if my name isn't Frank Anthony Thomas Iero Jr." With a giggle from Gee, he realized that he had stood up and was now causing a scene.

"Fine,  _Frankie._ " Gee teased, laughing a little more and feeling more at ease. Grumbling, Frank sat down and took a sip of coffee. Gee crossed their arms and sighed, leaning back in their seat. "Well, I suppose it's story time."


	4. Part three

“You go to women’s strip clubs because you’re gay. That doesn’t sound much like a sob story.” Frank stated bluntly, his uncaring nature returning quickly. Gee rolled their eyes and looked away, hiding the pain from that statement with a pissed expression. 

 

“Yeah, whatever. There’s more to it. I just….don’t wanna talk about it.” Frank took a sip of coffee as well as a deep breath.

 

‘Well, I won’t make you talk about it. In fact, I’ll never make you do something that you don’t want to do.” 

 

“Well you’re the first.”

 

“Really? That sucks. But honestly, I relate.”

 

“Oh really? Do tell.”

 

“Nope.” 

 

The two sat in silence for a while afterwards, looking around at things in the little shop. It was still awkward for the two, considering that they were both strangers. It most likely wasn’t going to get much easier very soon. Frank had no plans to let Gee anywhere close. Gee had the same plan as well. They didn’t want Frank getting hurt because of them. What happened to Bert...couldn’t happen to Frank too. 

 

From behind the counter, Ray sighed and rolled his eyes.

 

“Are you two going to kiss or what?”

 

“Oh fuck off, Ray. We’re friends, remember?” Frank replied, clearly annoyed by Ray’s pushyness. Friends? Gee didn’t think anyone could consider them a friend. They were a freak, a loser. Why did anyone want to be friends with them? 

 

Ray disappeared behind the counter once again and started talking with someone named “Bob.” Well, after a while, it sounded like a little more than talking. Gross. Frank shook it off and continued. 

 

“Anyway, I was wondering when you wanted to go home? I mean, it’s fine that you’re at my place, but your parents must be worried sick.”

 

“Nope. They don’t give a fuck whether I live or die. They kicked me out a month or so ago, remember?” A few beats passed.

 

“Oh. Sorry, bro. Thought you were just saying that cause you were….nevermind. Do you have a house or anywhere to go?”

 

“Just the street.”

 

More silence.

  
“Wanna stay with me?” Gee’s eyes met Frank’s for what very well may have been the first time. Frank was really offering to let them stay? 

 

“What’s the catch?” Gee asked skeptically, leaning back in their seat and trying to hide their complete and utter shock at the other’s proposition.

 

Frank only gave Gee a softl smile as his chest began to ache.

 

“None. I just don’t want to see you suffer. You’re too beautiful for that.” Gee blushed immensely and looked away, which made Frank laugh once again. It sure was embarrassing, but Frank’s laugh made it worth it. That laugh could brighten the darkest day and warm up even the coldest soul. And that, it just might.

 

“Oh shut up.”

 

Unfortunately, their cute moment was disrupted by a loud moan coming from behind the counter. Both of them froze, eyes wide. 

 

‘Is that…’ Gee mouthed, eyes flicking between Frank and the marble counter. Frank nodded urgently and promptly stood up, making hardly any noise at all. Gee stood up, the chair making a horrendous screeching noise. The two froze once more and the other two in the room went silent, clearly realizing there was still someone in the cafe. Gee and Frank booked it out of there, running out into the street with Frank hysterically laughing. Gee looked back at the café with a horrified expression, his face growing pale.

 

“EW! THAT’S FUCKIN’ NASTY!” Gee freaked, wiping their hands on their jeans as if they had touched something gross, as opposed to hearing it. 

 

“Well, that’s Ray for you. That’s the fifth time it’s happened this year. That I know of, that is.” Frank laughed once more, wiping tears out of his eyes and causing his sleeves to roll up a bit. Gee eyed them carefully, checking for...something. There was always something with these really nice people and Gee was determined to find out. Fortunately, all they found were a ton of tattoos. They made a mental note to ask Frank about them later. Frank’s eyes settled back on the beautiful mess before him, unable to look away. Everything about them was perfect, from the way their hair was perfectly horrendus to the way they made a feminine makeup style look intimidating in their own way. “So, is that a yes?” Gee eyed him cautiously. They had nothing left to lose at this point, but then again…

 

“Fuck, why not? It’s not like living on the streets is any better.” And then, Frank Anthony Thomas Iero Jr. grinned, which made Gee’s heart flutter like a butterfly. The two stared at each other for a while before Frank finally broke the silence.

 

“What do you want to do now? I don’t typically….go out in public, so I’m not very used to being out of the house.” 

 

“Well, just going back to your place is fine.”  Gee looked around, glaring at someone who gave them a dirty look, and returned their eyes to Frank. The smaller guitarist shook his head, grinning, and began walking back to his apartment. The two walked back in silence, neither being able to think of what to say. They were aliens to each other, the other impossibly amazing to them. Neither of them broke the silence, though. About being attracted to one another or about the situation in general. 

 

Upon reaching the door to his-  _ their _ apartment, Frank walked inside without holding the door for Gee. The door nearly hit them in the face, but they caught it just in time. 

 

“Asshole.” They mumbled, Frank chuckling in the distance. The sound of pills shaking in a bottle caught their attention as they entered the still foreign apartment. Gee’s eyes flickered up to meet Frank’s as he popped two small pills into his mouth, causing the demiboy to raise their eyebrows. “What, is that heroin or something?” Frank simply raised his eyebrows in response.

 

“No. How do you know what heroin looks like?” 

 

“Don’t. One of my ex-boyfriends was a drug dealer though. Sucked his dick for cocaine.” Frank laughed again, Gee maintaining their serious look, and quickly stopped.

 

“Oh. You’re not joking.” Gee only smirked.

 

“So, what were you taking.”

 

Frank simply didn’t know how to respond to that. He didn’t want to explain the whole reason why he had HIV and he really didn’t even want to talk about that in the first place. So he turned away, his gaze falling on a bottle of allergy pills that had been on his counter for ages.

 

“They’re allergy pills.” Frank put the bottle back in the cabinet where it belongs and looked back at Gee. They looked suspicious of Frank, but shook it off quickly. Gee could’ve sworn they recognized something in Frank’s eyes. Fear, pain, sadness? It was almost indistinguishable beneath Frank’s smug look.  

 

Almost. 


	5. Part four

_ ‘Today’s the day’ _ Frank repeated to himself, looking at the ragged mess that stared back at him in the mirror. He truly didn’t own many nice outfits, so he supposed a Pink Floyd shirt and jeans would suffice. Grabbing his keys, he walked by his living room and halted upon seeing Gee. They were curled up on the beanbag chair once again, not exactly having anywhere else to sleep. Frank made a mental note to buy an air mattress while he was out. Fighting the urge to say goodbye to the str-  _ house guest _ , he walked outside of his apartment and closed the door as quietly as possible. Locking it behind him, he made his way outside and looked up and down the street. Once again, he didn’t have a car, so it looked like he would be walking to the doctor’s office. Good thing he had ear buds. Music always made things go faster for him and right now, he really didn’t want to dwell on what he was going to do. He began his journey to the doctor’s office, feeling more like he was walking the green mile. Popping one earbud in, he pressed shuffle on his playlist and shoved his cell phone back in his pocket. 

 

**_“Summer has come and passed_ **

 

**_The innocent can never last_ **

 

**_Wake me up when September ends_ **

 

**_Like my fathers come to pass_ **

 

**_Seven years has gone so fast_ **

 

**_Wake me up when September ends”_ **

 

Frank kept walking as the song continued to play, his mood not increasing one bit. Great choice, shuffle feature. Streets faded together, passing without leaving an impression in his memory. He skipped a few songs, not wanting to feel any more depressed than he was right now. A song finally came on that wasn’t depressing (which just so happened to be a rarity on his playlist). 

 

**_“She paints her fingers with a close precision_ **

 

**_He starts to notice empty bottles of gin_ **

 

**_And takes a moment to assess the sin_ **

 

**_She's paid for_ **

 

**_A lonely speaker in a conversation_ **

 

**_Her words are swimming through his ears again_ **

 

**_There's nothing wrong with just a taste of what you've paid for.”_ **

 

Walking into the office, he pressed pause on the song and took his earbud out. The office lady gave him a smile that was all too happy for someone who works at a hospital. How could someone smile at a place full of pain? 

 

“Hi there! Do you have an appointment?” She asked, still grinning at Frank. He forced a smile on to his face and at least  _ tried  _ to look happy.

 

“Yup. Frank Iero for 9:30.” The lady looked down at her computer, a slightly puzzled expression. She clicked a few things on her computer and frowned. 

 

“You’re late.” Frank rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

 

“I’d like to see you get here at 9 when you’ve got a four year old living in your house that you’ve got to take care of.”

 

“Fair enough. Dr. Ballato will see you soon.” Frank took a seat in the chairs provided, not wanting to stand any longer than he had to. They were those really deceiving chairs that looked strangely comfortable but in reality were extremely uncomfortable. Frank waited there for what seemed like decades, looking around the bleak and barren waiting room. The office lady and Frank were the only two people in the office at the time, which didn’t help the empty feeling in his chest.

 

A small snicker escaped his lips, breaking the silence temporarily. He had told that lady that Gee was four. Well, they certainly did act like a four year old some times. Gee was just...something. In two days, Frank had found himself almost always thinking about them. He didn’t even know them and he just let them move in. Just like that. Maybe he felt bad for him. Frank, unfortunately, knew what it was like to hit rock bottom. Hell, he was still trying to climb up. But at this point, it didn’t seem like he was going to be able any time soon.

 

“Frank?” The Doctor called, looking into the almost empty waiting room. They had short, dark hair with matching dark eyes. They had the stereotypical doctor’s outfit on; a white lab coat with black dress pants underneath and a white sweater. Frank stood up and walked over, looking back at his seat to ensure that he hadn’t left anything. The doctor started walking to what was presumably the office in which he would be assessed today without waiting for Frank. Upon realizing they were leaving, he scrambled to catch up. They were quite a bit taller than him, so he had to nearly run to keep up. He passed countless rooms, some with patients and some without. One room in particular caught his eye as he was walking by. A teenager sat on a bed, their long hair covering their face. They were clearly crying, their doctor comforting them while their mother shook her head. Frank only had a split second to watch, but he assumed that they were pregnant. They looked too young for that. Well, then again, Frank-

 

“In here, Mr. Iero.” The doctor said, pointing to room #13. He silently hoped that maybe, just maybe, that number could take a break from being unlucky today. He jumped up on the cot positioned against one of the walls, making himself comfortable before the doctor closed the door behind them. They sat down on a stool across from Frank, clipboard in hand, and looked up at him with a blank expression. Damn, those dark eyes looked like they could drain his soul if Frank made one wrong move. Gee’s did too, of course, but at least their’s looked human. Dr. Ballato’s looked colder than steel. “Hello, Frank. My name is Doctor Lindsey Ballato. You may address me by she/her pronouns.”

 

“He/him.” He replied, swinging his legs back and forth off the edge of the cot, trying to burn some of his nervous energy. Lindsey took note of that and looked back up at him, a soft smile taking the place of her previously cold gaze. 

 

“Nice. You’re here for some scans, right?” Her professional act seemingly dropped, giving way to who she truly was. Now that Frank got a closer look, she was only in her early twenties. She wasn’t much older than him. Suddenly, her acting more natural around him made sense. 

 

“Yup.” 

 

“Here. You gotta put this on, unfortunately. Leave your underwear on but take everything else off. When you’re done, meet me in the hallway.” And with that, she threw him a hospital nightgown and left the room. He changed quickly, wincing a bit as his belt scratched his stomach. Slipping into the highly uncomfortable nightgown, he threw his clothes on the cot and ran a hand through his greasy, unkempt hair. He made another mental note to take a shower as soon as he got home.

 

~

 

Meanwhile, Gee’s eyes shot open faster than a revolver. Another nightmare, same old same old. It was the exact same as last time; he came out to his parents as gay, they reacted….poorly, and that’s it. He always woke up just before his father threw the first punch. He remembered that moment like it was yesterday. Well, how could he forget? It constantly played in his mind.  Rubbing his sore eyes, he sat up and looked around. He was back in Frank’s apartment, where he fell asleep. Thank god. His legs barely supported him as he stood up and wobbled over to the bathroom.  _ Flick. _ The lights turned on and he sighed at who looked back at him. Did he feel like a ‘he’ or a ‘they’? “Both.” He said out loud. Feeling the cold water on his face, he sighed once more, but in relief this time. It felt good to wash off the dreams and go back to being numb. Numb is better than afraid. 

 

~

Frank kept his eyes closed as the machine moved slowly. It was impossibly hard to not fidget while they scanned his entire body, but he managed somehow. This whole MRI thing kind of freaked him out, to be honest. They could see inside of your body by shining a green laser on you? Fuckin’ weird. It was cool, but still a little unnerving. The machine made a high-pitched BEEP and he was slowly moved back to the harshly bright outside. 

 

“You can sit up now, Frank.” A voice, who he’d come to recognize as Lindsey’s, stated. Doing as the voice said, Frank rubbed his eyes and looked around at the grim-faced doctors. 

 

“W-What… what is it?” He asked, his voice shaking. Lindsey shook her head and sighed, her eyes falling to the floor. 

 

“I’m sorry, Frank.” 

 

~

 

Frank hadn’t left a note for Gee, so they assumed that Frank was just out for groceries or something. Gee cooked frequently at …home, but as they were searching Frank’s kitchen, they found nearly nothing edible. Frank must be out for groceries then. That only really leaves….cleaning. Gee was good at that too, fortunately. And Frank’s flat...seriously needed it. _ ‘This place looks like twenty people live here. How the fuck did Frank manage this?’ _ Everything was out of place. EVERYTHING. It was making Gee’s OCD go bezerk. The TV wasn’t hung up straight. Nor were any of the pictures. 

 

“Does Frank clean this place? Like, ever?”

 

Gee rolled their eyes and got to work. They started by straightening out their little beanbag chair and quickly moved on to the rest of the living room. Nudge a picture frame here, move a few books there, stack some CD’s over there. 

 

_ ‘In time, this place could actually look like a home’ _ Gee thought to themself with a smile. They hardly had time to smile, though. There was a LOT of work to be done.

 

~

 

“W-What?”

 

“You have terminal cancer.” Tears welled up in Frank’s eyes, spilling over in a matter of seconds. “I’m really sorry, Frank. There’s nothing I can do about it. When it’s gone terminal, the best we can do is let you have fun until it kills you. I’d say you have three, maybe four months max.” 

 

At that, Frank just couldn’t help but cry. After everything he’d been through, he still lost. He still lost. He let  _ them _ use him, he let his family leave him, and he let the world chew him up and spit him out. Lindsey sighed and shook her head, looking away while the other cried. “We’re going to let you go home. Spend time doing what you like. We’ll call you back in a month or two to see how badly it’s progressed. Just...try to enjoy the time you have left, okay?” She patted Frank’s shoulder gently and walked away, her heels clicking on the floor. Frank scrambled to the room with his clothes and changed as quickly as possible, leaving the hospital without a word.

 

He ran home as fast as he could, people flying by in a blur. They mattered so much, but apparently he didn’t matter enough. Anyone who gets a death sentence deserves it, so what did he do to deserve this? Was it that he was gay? He couldn’t change that, obviously but damnit, if that’s what god wanted for him, then why would he make Frank gay? Fuck, Frank didn’t even believe in god and here he was, silently pleading for mercy. He shot up the stairs to his apartment and unlocked the door in a hurry, his vision glowing blurrier by the second. The door slammed behind him, Gee visibly jumping and cringing in fear. 

 

“Jesus, Frank. You scared me.” Gee said, looking the owner of the flat up and down cautiously. They were quite used to assessing situations and seeing when others were a dangerous level of angry. 

 

Sure, Frank looked angry, but when he burst into tears, Gee instantly dropped their cautious behavior. They ran over and instantly wrapped his arms around Frank, holding them tight but not too tight. Frank melted into the other’s arms, letting go of all the emotions he’d been holding back. He was fucking angry and fucking sad and fucking numb and fucking oversensitive. The tears just kept coming, long after Frank even knew why he was crying. Sighing, Gee picked up the smaller of the two and carried him back to his bed. Frank normally would’ve protested being carried wedding-style by anyone (especially Gee), but he just couldn’t find the words to argue with them. He just kept crying silently as he was placed on his bed. 

 

“Hey hey hey. It’s okay.” Gee said softly, sitting down next to Frank on the bed and biting their lip in concern. Frank sniffled a few times and sat up, his normal and spiteful self returning.

 

“Don’t fucking carry me like I’m a baby. I’m 18 for fuck’s sake.” Gee giggled and damn it, it sounded like music to Frank’s ears. He glared at the wall and tried not to smile, but it was pretty hard considering Gee just wouldn’t stop giggling. Sighing, Frank closed his eyes and rubbed them harshly. Maybe if he rubbed them hard enough, everything would just go away. At the very least, he might go blind. Then he won’t have to look at himself in the mirror ever again. That’s a plus. 

 

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or what?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yup.”

 

“Dickhead.”

 

“You’re lucky I was just crying or I would roast you so badly, you’d have to go to the hospital for third degree burns.”

 

“Oh really? Is that a fact?”

 

“Yup.”

 

A few beats went by, the apartment going silent. 

 

“Will you stay with me?”   
  


“Only if you want me to.”

 

“Yeah. I do.”

 

“Alright then.”

 

Gee moved next to Frank and slowly wrapped their arms around him, the two of them laying down together and getting cozy. 

 

Another pause.

 

“Your hands are cold, you know.”   
  


“Well your stomach is warm, so shut it.”

  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Part five

Gerard woke up the next morning, Frank still curled up in his arms. Frank's mud-colored hair fell in his eyes in the most adorable fucking way ever. He was snoring softly, still very much asleep despite the fact it was noon. After that unexplained emotional breakdown, Frank needed the extra sleep. Gerard looked at the smaller figure next to him and sighed. How, out of all of the people Frank could've saved that night, did he manage to save Gerard? He was drunk and angry and confused but somehow, Frank erased it all just like that. It was almost like this guy was Gerard's personal angel. And boy, did Gerard need an angel. He smiled ever so slightly and sighed contently.

"What're you staring at, weirdo?" Frank asked in a teasing manner, smirking up at the cherry-haired roommate.

"Just you, beautiful." At that, Frank sat up and shuddered. Wrong step. "Too soon? Okay. Sorry. I mean, it's true, but if you aren't comfortable with that, then I won't say it." Frank seemed more at ease and he smiled softly at Gee.

"Thanks. It's just...a little too soon."

"That's okay. I'll try not to compliment you, although it'll probably be hard."  
  
"Hey, I didn't say you couldn't compliment me, but just don't call me attractive or anything."

A pause.

"What do you mean by too soon?"

"Nothing." Frank stood up and brushed himself off, running a hand through his hair and clearing his throat. "What do you want for breakfast? I gotta make a grocery run anyway."

"Can I come? I kind of need some clothes too. I've got plenty of money, so I can chip in for groceries."  
  


"Okay, but don't worry about the groceries thing. I don't eat very much, so it wouldn't be much more expensive."

Gerard stood up as well and looked down at himself. He'd been wearing mostly the same clothes this whole time. Let's just say he felt like gross. Besides, he really felt more feminine today, so jeans and a band t-shirt didn't really suit him.

Frank held out his hand to Gerard, the other taking it, and the two of them walked out of the apartment still holding hands. Frank had to break their hands apart for a few seconds to grab his keys and his wallet, but he rejoined their hands as soon as he was done. Frank didn't have any fucking time to worry about moving too fast or worry about if he could trust Gerard. He was going to die in a few months anyway. May as well live his last few months to the fullest.   
  
Gerard, on the other hand, wasn't dying from terminal cancer, but was very much dying regardless. Frank was holding his hand. Frank was holding his hand.  _Frank was holding his hand_. Gerard was blushing the whole time while the two of them chatted on the way to the store.  _Frank was holding his hand_. He couldn't stop repeating himself over and over and over. He just....couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe anyone even wanted to go near him, in fact.

They continued their little conversation, talking about a few things here and there. It wasn't important enough for the author to think of anything important to write, but it was the most important thing ever to the two of them. Both of them were blushing and laughing and giggling and smiling and just..... It was perfect.

The two reached a random consignment shop and went in, Frank snatching the door from Gerard and holding it. He was quite the stubborn little fuck and always insisted on holding the door. And hell, Gerard was a sucker for someone taking care of him. Gee walked inside and immediately gasped. Dresses. Dresses everywhere. It may have been a "he" day, but damnit, Gerard wanted a dress. He walked up to the first rack and picked one up, a confused looking Frank in tow. It was solid black, with triangles cut out of the sides at the waist. It even had a flat chest, so he wouldn't look odd not having breasts. Perfect. Frank shrugged and held out a shopping basket he had picked up. Gerard shoved the dress into the basket and moved on. Frank had to scramble to keep up, on account of his short little legs. Gerard was tall and quite fast, so he had no problem going fast. It's a good thing Frank had a lot of stamina. Gerard tossed a pastel purple sweater Frank's way and he caught it in the basket without a second thought. More clothes flew at Frank and he caught them all, the two of them giggling and laughing the whole time.

"Damn. You've got mad skills." Gerard giggled again, holding a pair of jeans in his hands.

"Yeah? You should hear me play guitar. I'm waaaaay better at that."

"I don't believe you, shortstack."

"Oh really? Pick a song. Any song you can think of. I'll play it for you tonight."

Gerard thought for a moment, a few women glaring at him for shopping in what was obviously the women's section.

"Play Despacito."

"No."

"Okay, okay. Play...um... Wake me up when September ends."

"Alright, Mx. Armstrong."

Gerard replied with a "Fuck off" before chucking another dress at him. Frank caught it as well and laughed, a hint of pink appearing on his cheeks. Gerard travelled back and went through the basket, his face dangerously close to Frank's.

 _'Don't kiss him don't kiss him don't kiss him.'_ Frank repeated to himself, waiting for Gerard to finish. Well, it wouldn't be the end of the world if they kissed. Maybe it would. Fuck, Frank couldn't make up his mind. He  _knew_  that he was really attracted to Gerard, but did he feel the same? Definitely not. .....Maybe? Frank groaned out loud in frustration, causing Gerard to giggle and stand back.

"I think I'm good. I got some androgynous stuff too, just in case."

"Nice. Check-out?"

"Check-out."

The two of them walked over to the register, hand in hand and beaming at each other. Frank knew people were staring, but fuck 'em. Gerard made him happy and everyone deserves to be happy, right?   
  


Frank dumped the basket of clothing out on the conveyor and looked back at Gerard with a grin. And fuck, all Gerard could think about was how hot Frank was. Like, fuck. He was gay for Frank (gayer than he already was) and you know, he was okay with that. Fuck what everyone else said. Frank was fuckin' gorgeous and anyone who can't see that is blind. His hazel eyes met the deep brown eyes before him, their gazes meeting up and settling on each other's eyes.   
  
"That'll be $30.65." The cashier grumbled, rolling his eyes at the display before him.

"Sorry, what did you say?" Gerard asked, turning to the grumpy cashier. Frank felt something change when Gerard looked away, almost like he was alone all over again. He wanted those hazel eyes on him. He....fuck, he didn't even know what he wanted.

"I said $30.65. Jesus, you faggots are all idiots, aren't you?" Frank saw the fire light behind Gerard's eyes. He willingly would've slapped the hell out of that dickhead, but he had the feeling that his house guest had this covered.

"Excuse me, sir." Gerard, eyes a-blaze, walked right up to the bitchy cashier and kissed him on the cheek, Frank snickering from behind. "I think you mean $20.65." He replied, adding a wink on the end. The cashier grew bright red and started screaming curses, the manager coming over and finishing their transaction quickly.

"Have a nice day, kids. And stay safe." The manager said with a knowing look, sending them on their way. The two of them looked between each other, laughed, and waved goodbye, exiting as the man continued to have his little temper tantrum.

Next stop: makeup store!

Gerard had insisted on going and Frank truly didn't have anything better to do, so makeup store it was. Gerard instantly squealed like a little kid when he walked in, running over to a very clearly goth section and picking out a few things. Frank already had a basket in his hands, along with the other bag. He almost felt like Gerard's boy-

 _'MISSION ABORT MISSION ABORT. I AM BLUSHING. I REPEAT, I AM BLUSHING.'_ Frank screamed to himself in his head, realizing a bright red shade was creeping its way onto his face. Gerard looked back at him, a smirk on his face.

"Aw. Is someone embarrassed to be at a makeup store?" He teased, tossing some eyeliner into the basket, as well as some eyeshadow.

"No."

"Yeah."

  
"It's not that, dude. I go shopping for makeup all the time. I was just thinking..."

Gerard turned away from the makeup on the shelf, meeting Frank's hues with a curious look.

"What were you thinking?"

"That this is.." He cleared his throat "Kind of like a date. So was the coffee shop."

"...Oh."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

Gerard laughed, walking over to Frank and giving him a quick peck on the cheek.   
  
"If you wanted these to be dates, you should've said so. I would've actually put some effort into my appearance instead of looking like fuckin' trash."

And just like that, Frank was blushing. Brighter than a tomato. Hell, blushing didn't even describe it. There are no words to describe how happy and embarrassed and brave and shy Frank felt in this moment.

"Are you okay, Frank?" Gee asked, concerned at how brightly Frank was blushing. Snapping out of it, he nodded and smiled shyly at the demiboy.

"Yeah. You just made the butterflies in my stomach go nuts."

"Oh. Is that....bad?"

"I'll tell you when you finish buying this makeup." Gerard rolled his eyes playfully and went to the register, ignoring the weird looks once again. The two of them grabbed some groceries quickly and walked home, holding hands once again. Hell, neither of them ever wanted to let go. 

It felt like fireworks were exploding in Gerard's heart. He hadn't felt this way since as long as he could remember. No one had ever truly accepted him for who he was and yet, Frank didn't seem to have a problem with it. If Frank knew that's what was going through Gerard's head, he probably would've said "ditto." Everyone had always told him that being gay was a sin. Well, if being gay's a sin, then he'd be more than happy to go to hell.

The two of them giggled their way back up to Frank's apartment, never letting go of each other. They put away the groceries together, ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches together, made fun of each other for eating their sandwiches differently together. They did everything together that day and honestly, this wasn't how Frank imagined the last month or so of his life would be. He thought he would've just ended it the say he got his diagnosis but here he was, falling in love. He was falling, plummeting, spiraling and for once, it felt good. He couldn't have picked anyone better to fall in love with. Gerard was sweet and unlike anyone else Frank had ever met. He loved Gerard, even though it was early in their relationship even as friends. Fuck it. Frank only had a little time left, so what's the point in denying it? Gerard scurried off to go try on some of the dresses, leaving Frank all by his lonesome. It felt like someone had cut off one of his limbs or something; like something really important was missing. Damn, Frank was REALLY in love.

He jumped over a few stacks of paper, grabbing his guitar from in the bedroom and ran back to the living room. Sitting down on a random box he had for reasons unknown, he plucked each string individually to make sure they were still in tune. It had been a week or so since he played, but the strings were all more or less in tune. Luckily, Gerard's request was one of his favorite songs. He pretty much always called it "The September song" because the whole sentence was a hassle to say. Frank strummed a few chords, grinning to himself as he did.

"How do I look?" Gerard asked, walking out of the bathroom in a dress Frank hadn't seen. This one was the pattern of the American flag. It flattered his body immensely, making it appear as if he had curves. He looked....fucking gorgeous. Jesus fuck-

"Fucking amazing." Frank breathlessly because hell, Gerard really had taken his breath away.

"You really think so?" He squeaked in return

"Yeah, but I think it needs something. It's a little too...patriotic."

"I know, right? I was thinking of vandalising it. I'll have to do that later." A giggle sounded from the Demiboy before he sat down on the beanbag chair, legs crossed. "So, is the song ready?"

"Yup. Prepare yourself; this might just be the best guitar performance you've ever seen."

"I'll be the judge of that."

Frank strummed a few chords, his fingers flying across the strings as if he were born to play guitar. He'd been playing ever since he could physically hold a guitar, so it was fitting.

"Summer has come and passed

The innocent can never last

Wake me up when September ends

Like my fathers come to pass

Seven years has gone so fast

Wake me up when September ends

Here comes the rain again

Falling from the stars

Drenched in my pain again

Becoming who we are

As my memory rests

But never forgets what I lost

Wake me up when September ends."

 

Gee's eyes sparkled as he watched Frank play, captivated by the performance.

"Holy fuck." He interrupted, Frank ceasing the music and smirking up at the other.   
  
"Are you done going all goo-goo eyes over me?"

"Oh shut it. You're really good. Where'd you learn to play like that?"

"I taught myself, actually. Pretty good, am I right?"

"Don't get cocky, Mr."

Frank only laughed, Gerard blushing like crazy and stumbling over his words as he tried to fix his statement.   
  
A dinner and more guitar playing later, the two of them parted ways for bed. Gerard inflated the air mattress they had purchased and Frank wandered into his bedroom, leaving the door open a crack. The two of them stared at the ceiling, each wondering about the other. Gerard hugged himself around the stomach and curled up under the blankets. Frank looked at the vacant spot in his bed next to him. Each of them wanted to pull the other closer, but anyone close to them got burned. So there the two star-crossed lovers stayed, staring at the wall between them and the sky. 


	7. Part 7

Taking a deep breath, Gerard knocked on the door. Frank could already see the anxiety setting it, the cherry-haired other biting his lip as he looked at the white door in front of him. Everything about this house screamed "RICH HOMOPHOBES", from the perfectly trimmed lawn to the slate-colored paneling on the side of the house. Even when his mother opened the door and frowned, Frank knew this wasn't going to go well.

"Hi, Mom." Gerard greeted, clearing his throat.

"Hello...Gerard." She returned coldly, clearly looking Frank up and down. He had adorned the same makeup as yesterday, as well as a black dress with red and white polka dots. Frank was lucky that his voice was fairly high, just enough to sound like a female with a deep voice. They had even had to stuff padding into his chest so it looked like he had breasts. Mrs. Way blinked a few times and smiled at Frank, apparently coming to the conclusion that Frank was, in fact, a woman. "And who's this?"

"My name's Frankie. I'm Gerard's girlfriend. It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Way!" Frank greeted, holding his hand out to Mrs. Way, who took it and smiled her usual "I'm richer than you'll ever be in your life" smile.

"Nice to meet you too, Frankie! And please, call me Donna. Gerard, darling, I don't know why you haven't brought her over sooner! She's gorgeous!" Frank giggled, forcing it quite a bit while Gerard blushed and ran a hand through his hair.

"We've only been dating for a month or two. I had to make sure we were actually going to last that long before I introduced her!" 

 

"Come in, come in!" Donna held the door open to them, walking inside and waiting for the other two to enter. She closed the door behind them, making Gerard jump. Frank shot him a concerned look, but he dismissed it and walked into the living room. The two of them sat down on the couch, Frank crossing his legs at the knees instinctively while pulling down the hem of his dress.

"Is Mikey around?" Gerard asked, running a hand through his hair and adjusting his polo. He'd picked up one as well as a pair of khakis since his parents didn't exactly approve of the way he dressed....or anything he did, really. Donna frowned slightly, sitting down on the couch and crossing her legs in the same fashion as Frank.

"Yes. He's upstairs practicing the violin."

"I-I'll be right back, Mom." Gerard excused himself, walking up the chestnut-colored stairs as Frank watched him go.

"Alrighty! Me and Frankie will have some girl talk!" She called, Frank smiling awkwardly. As soon as his feet were out of sight, Mrs. Way chuckled as shook her head. "That boy really is odd. So, Frankie, how are things going?"

"Uh...pretty good, ma'am."

"Are you sure? In the past he's been pretty...distant. His first girlfriend, Lindsey, didn't even know he'd broken up with her until she saw him dating some guy." She scoffed at 'guy', rolling her eyes and crossing her arms as well.

"Oh my! I really hope he doesn't do that to me. I really love him."

It wasn't a lie, actually. Even though Frank would probably be the one leaving in the end. It all made sense all of the sudden. That's why he always felt the little flutter of butterflies in his stomach whenever Gerard was around. That's why Gerard's laugh never failed to make his heart skip a beat. That's why Frank opened his home to this random stranger and let them stay, not just asked them to leave after a day or two. Because Gerard is gorgeous. Because Gerard is funny and witty and smart. And because he loved Gerard.

"Well, I hate to tell you, but he's probably going to break your heart."

"Don't worry, Mrs. Way. I've had my heart broken before."

X X X X X X X X

 

The soft, sweet sound of violin echoed from the door Gerard instantly recognized as Mikey's. The younger Way had been playing violin since he was four years old, always stealing the spotlight from the older Way. But, to be honest, Gerard didn't mind. He enjoyed his invisibility while Mikey enjoyed the spotlight. Mikey had his violin, and Gerard had his drawings. Together, they were going to conquer the world and revolutionize the meaning of the word "art"!

That was ten years ago.

Gerard had stopped doing art long ago. But, apparently, Mikey had never given up the violin. His music sounded beautiful, melancholy and bittersweet yet comfortable and familiar. He really was gifted, more than Gerard ever would be. If you asked Mikey, on the other hand, he would get this adorable glint in his eye and he would talk your ear off for hours about how amazing Gerard's art was and how talented he was and how he deserved to be in the spotlight. They both were an inseparable team...until Gerard moved away from home. Well, more like left under a threat. His parents refused to have a gay son, and they placed all their hope on Mikey when Gerard proved to be insufficient, but, judging by how Mikey had his door closed and was playing a cover of "Wake me up when September Ends", they were starting to lose hope for him too.

"Mikes? Can I come in?" Gerard asked, knocking softly as the music came to an abrupt stop. The door swung open and the moment his hazel eyes met the light brown hues before him, he knew that his brother had been going through hell, just as Gerard feared. He instantly wrapped Mikey in a hug, trying not to focus on the fact that his younger brother was as tall as him or that he looked almost nothing like Gerard remembered. Mikey hugged back instantaneously, laughing as tears started to well up in his eyes.

"Holy fuck, Gerard. You're back!" He exclaimed, grinning like a goofball while his brother refused to release him. "I thought I'd never see you again!"

 

Gerard released him after a few more beats, laughing and ruffling Mikey's hair. "Jesus, when did you get so tall?"

"Uh, I dunno. It just kind of..happened. Come in, come in!" Gerard took a step into the room, looking around and smiling as well. Mikey had apparently taken after Gerard's interests; He had all of Gerard's old Metallica and Green Day posters, an acoustic guitar in the corner and a few of Gerard's old, half-filled sketchbooks stacked on his nightstand. He even wore his older brother's American Idiot sweatshirt, the bleeding grenade of a heart fading from the years of wear. It hung off of the fourteen-year-old, but he didn't seem to care.

"Oh man, this is like a room full of nostalgia!" Gerard exclaimed, running his fingers down an old, beat-up poster that was crudely stuck to the wall with masking tape.

"Well, Mom and Dad wanted to throw out all of your stuff, but I insisted on saving it, even if it did get me grounded for a day or two."

Gerard plopped down on Mikey's bed, picking up the younger one's favorite stuffed unicorn that still resides there. He had won it for Mikey at a carnival when they were young, but he thought the other had lost it long ago. "How have you been? Have Mom and Dad given up on you yet?"

Mikey sat down next to his brother, sighing softly. "Well, okay, I guess. I think. They still have hope for me, as far as I know, but they call me your name all the time. It's fucking annoying."

 

"Well, that's good...and bad. Sorry, Mikes. I wish I was still here to battle 'em off for you."

"You could be if you wanted to!"

"No, I'm all set." He replied, chuckling and elbowing Mikey gently. "Besides, I've got Frankie to take care of."

"Wait, who's Frankie?"

"My boy- Girlfriend, of course!"

Mikey raised an eyebrow at his brother, nudging up his glasses and crossing his arms. "Boyfriend, girlfriend or something in-between. Don't worry, I won't tell Mom and Dad."

Sighing softly, Gerard admitted "Boyfriend" and Mikey smiled, shoving his brother gently and laughing.

"Dude, why didn't you just tell me? I'm so happy for you!"

 

"Really? I..kind of thought you'd think of it the same way as Mom and Dad."

"Gerard. I have a unicorn plushie on my bed, a haircut from 2008, I play the violin and I have a huge crush on my best friend, Pete. Trust me, you're okay."

"Oh thank god! I was really worried and I-" He paused, slowing his sixty mile an hour speech and now raised an eyebrow at Mikey. "Wait...your best friend's name is Pete? As in, he's a guy?"

"Yeah..."

A warm smile appeared on Gerard's face and he wrapped his arms around Mikey, practically knocking the twig of a Way over. "That's amazing. I'm so happy for you!"

"Thanks, Gee. I really hope he likes me back. Although, Dad will kill me if he ever finds out." There was a few beats of silence, Mikey hugging Gerard back and refusing to let go. Gerard made sure to give the other room to leave if he wanted. Mikey didn't, of course. He could've sworn he heard the youngest Way making a soft noise, but the other denied it. Mikey was lying, of course. Gerard would've recognized that noise anywhere; He'd heard it almost every day from his younger brother, after a slap on the back of the hand with a ruler from their Father or a screaming session from their Mother.

Tears.

"I don't want them to be like you to them. I'm so scared of what will happen if they find out. They've been screaming at me almost daily, saying I'm too much like you. I love you, but I don't know what to do. I'm so sorry. I-I tried to pretend like everything's okay because I wanted this to be happy, but I-I..." Mikey whispered, tears flowing from his eyes and soaking through Gerard's shirt.

"Shhh. It's okay, Mikey. Breathe."

"BOYS! DINNER!" Mrs. Way called from downstairs, only making Mikey cry harder. Gerard continued to hush his younger brother, rocking him slowly as he cried out his worries. Just like the good 'ol days.


	8. Part 8

"So, Frankie, do you have a job? I'm guessing Gerard doesn't, since he's always been lazy." Mr. Way asked, shoveling a bite of steak into his mouth. Frank plastered on his best fake smile, seeing as steak (or meat in general) was not his thing.

"Well, I'm a musician. I play gigs around the city and they bring in quite a bit of money. And I don't mind having Gerard unemployed. He cooks and cleans and things like that. To be honest, I prefer it much more than the whole 'House-girlfriend' stereotype. Besides, I'm not too great at cooking but Gerard's quite good at it." Gerard's parents seemed pleased at that, a kid who Frank assumed was Mikey's face blank and hidden behind his fringe. Gerard simply blushed and took another bite, noticing that Frank wasn't eating any of the meat. He turned his plate so the vegetable portion was facing the other and Frank flashed Gerard a smile, taking a bite of the other's broccoli.

"That was expected of him, to be honest. That's...interesting that you're a musician. Have you ever thought of a more stable job?" Mrs. Way asked, shooting her husband a look before he could comment on Frank refusing the meat.

"No, actually. I earn at least double what a minimum wage job would, I choose my own hours essentially and I get to work at children's birthday parties sometimes. Nothing beats their faces when I walk in dressed like a princess. You can just see all their eyes light up!" Frak exclaimed, taking another bite. He looked over at Mikey, who was smiling a bit, but the younger Way quickly lowered his head again.

"That's nice."

They ate in silence for a while, Gerard and Frank trading food while Mikey kept his head down. Gerard would look at him every once in a while, trying to see if he could make the other feel any better, but it appeared there was no snapping him out of it.

Mr. Way cleared his throat, adjusting his shirt collar and making direct eye contact with Frank. He had the same hazel eyes as Gerard, but his were different; Gerard's were happy, deep, and gorgeous, constantly shining with a light Frank wished he could understand. Donald Way's were cold, dark and ruthless. It was terrifying.

"I'm so glad you dragged Gerard out of the whole....fag thing. He was really slipping and I was afraid we were going to have to send him to a doctor or something."

"I don't know what you mean." Frank replied, setting down his fork with a spark of anger in his gaze.

"Well, I couldn't have my son raping other boys, now could I? It's simply unholy and I wasn't sure how to snap him out of it. It seems he needed a girl like you."

"How do you know I don't have a penis?"

And in that moment, everyone dropped their forks. Except Frank. He clutched the fork in his hand, wondering if he'd crush it at some point.

"Excuse me?"

"Frank, I-" Gerard started, Frank cutting him off as he continued.

"No, Gerard." He turned to face Mr. Way, practically fuming. "There is nothing wrong with your son liking men. He would never rape anyone, unlike you, clearly."

Donald scoffed, rolling his eyes and leaning forward a bit in his seat. "Oh shut it. Let me guess; You're a faggot too? I knew this was too good to be true."

Fire blazed in Frank's eyes. How could anyone treat Gerard like this? He was fucking amazing and here these people were, these people that were supposed to be his parents, just being fucking dickheads.

"Frankie, let's just go." Gerard whispered, biting his lip nervously as he wrung his hands. And fuck, seeing how nervous Gerard was made him even more mad.

"You know what?" Frank turned to the homophobic parents, flipping both of them off. "Fuck you. You can suck my fucking dick."

Mr. Way growled from across the table, standing up. The remaining Ways visibly shrank, including Donna, and it finally clicked in his head; this bastard had a temper. That's why they were all so afraid of him. And Donald Way suddenly reminded Frank of his own father, furious when he found out why his son would die too early; Not at the people who had caused it, but at Frank. For trusting them. For drinking. For smiling and laughing too hard to notice something had been slipped in his drink. 

There was no way he was letting Gerard or Mikey live with him for another day.

"Come on. Let's get out of here." Frank said, standing up and taking Gerard's hand in his own and leading him to the door. Gerard gave Mikey a nod and the younger Way ran up the stairs, past his enraged parent and into his room.

"He's grabbing his things. We're taking him with us." Gerard explained softly, his father growing red in the face while his mother just sat there in silence, not daring to speak up against any of this.

"No. You. Are. Not. I am not letting my son move in with some...some...some faggot and his transvestite girlfriend."

"Yes, you are." Gerard said, finally speaking up. He stepped forward, Mikey running back down the stairs with a backpack and ducking behind the firey-haired demiboy. "We're leaving. I refuse to let you treat me, my girlfriend or my brother like this. You've hurt all of us for the last time." Frank opening the door, he lead Mikey out the door as Gerard followed closely behind. "Contact us again and I'll file a restraining order."

And with a good slam of the door, the Way family was over.

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

"So...are you really trans, or..."

"Mikey! That's rude!"

"What? You said you have a boyfriend and then in walks someone with a dress!"

"It's fine, Gerard. And no, Mikey. I'm not really trans. Gerard's family wanted him to have a girlfriend, and he's lucky I don't mind crossdressing. And, we're not dating; Just roommates. Well, more like I saved his ass since I found him in an alley outside of a bar."

"But I thought you said-"

"Not a word, Mikey."

Frank decided it was better not to question it. The three of them approached his grandmother's house, halting outside the front door. They'd called ahead to warn Elena, their loving and very smart grandmother (who had filed a restraining order on their father years ago. Scratch smart; she's incredibly intelligent.)

"Well, here's your stop, Mikes. Stay safe, okay?" Gerard kissed his little brother's forehead, not in a romantic way, but in a way that screamed unconditional love.

"Okay, okay." Mikey punched Gerard's shoulder, the two of them chuckling and grinning. The younger Way turned to Frank, pushing his glasses up on his nose and tucking some fringe behind his ear.

"Take care of my big brother, okay, Frank?"

"Okay, Mikey."

Frank wished could guarantee he would be around long enough to do so.

 

 

(A/N)

Some clarification: I'm not against transgender people. Hell, I AM trans. I just really needed Mr. Way to be that kind of person for the sake of the plot. Please don't think that I'm really like that in any way, shape or form

Okay love you guys byeeeee


	9. Part 9

Frank was sick. Not just sick, but sick. It was only a mild cold, but it was currently ravaging his body, since his immune system was as good as non-existent. He'd figured out he was sick when he passed out at their favorite coffee shop (which they'd only really been there in the first place to tease Ray) and, after a few moments of Gee freaking out, Frank confessed he'd been feeling off. When he woke up, of course. That brought them to where they were now, which was Frank sleeping on the couch and Gee cooking him some soup. He had curled up under a few blankets, shuddering while Gerard dumped a can of vegetable broth in a pot.

"So, why couldn't you have just poured some soup out of a can again?" Frank asked, looking over at Gee from under his mountain of blankets. They giggled softly, rolling their eyes a bit and returning to their culinary masterpiece.

"Because, Frank. Canned soup fucking sucks. If that's all you've had, you've never had real soup."

"But I'm hungryyy. And cold."

"Well, I would cuddle you or some shit, but I don't wanna get sick. And you'll just have to wait."

"Awww."

"Hush. Take a nap or some shit."

"Jeez. I thought it was my job to be the one who's bitchy all the time and swears a lot."

"Well, nothing's wrong with switching it up a bit." Gee replied, adding a wink on the end for good measure.

"Was that a sex reference?"

"Maybe."

Frank shuddered again, curling up a bit and closing his eyes as he waited for the world to fade from existence. But it didn't, and Frank was left with the echos in his mind.

"It won't hurt a bit, doll."

And his head was too fuzzy to even process what was going on, as his head was slammed into a headboard, and-

"Frankie? Your soup is ready." Gee called, snapping Frank out of his little disassociation-session.

"Oh. Nice." Gee walked over, carrying a bowl of soup for the other with a smile. 

 

"I hope you like extra oregano."

X O X O X O X O X O X O

It was a fucking lie when they said he wouldn't feel a thing. He felt many things. Well, physically anyway. Emotionally, he felt...blank. Like a fucking whiteboard that someone just wiped clean, not caring about what was written there before. There were streaks left of the words that resided there before, but nothing distinguishable. He had been destroyed. Broken. Erased.

He should go to the police.

"Frank. Frank. Frank!"

"Mm?"

"You were screaming."

"I was?"

"Yeah. Nightmare, I'm guessing."

He shuddered again, gnawing on his lip ring. "Yup."

"Wanna talk about it?"

 

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because."

 

"Because why, Frankie?"

"You don't need to know."

"And why's that exactly?"

"Because. It's not important. The past is the past and it doesn't matter anymore."

 

"Should I be worried by that?"

"No."

Frank paused, shifting in the darkness.

"Am I in my bed?"

"Yeah."

"Are you in my bed?"

"Yeah. Do you want me to leave?"

"No. Please, never leave."

X O X O X O X O

It around a week later and Frank was still sick. Still not just sick, but sick. This cold had him out of commission for a long time and yet, Gerard was more than happy to take care of him. Even if it meant food was running low in the apartment. And it meant that money was running low, too. And mail was stacking up.

That was what lead the two to the alley outside their apartment, where Frank carried a bag of letters, Gerard in tow with a gallon of gasoline. Frank had tried to carry it at the store, but he couldn't even pick it up off the floor.

"It's fine, Frank. I'll carry it."

"I got it, Gee. I'm not a fucking weakling."

"You can't even pick it up."

"Jesus. Fine." He stared at the bottle, sighing in defeat. Only a few short months ago, he'd have been able to pick up someone at least Gee's size over his head. Now, he couldn't even carry a fucking gallon of gasoline.....

Frank set down the bag, emptying it onto the ground. "Alright. Let's fucking torch this shit."

"Should I bother asking what all of this is?" Gerard asked, their eyes grazing the letters ever so slightly. He could make out a few words, mainly being 'Treatment center' over and over, but Frank shook his head, pulling out his lighter.

"I don't recommend it."

"That works for me."

Gasoline flowed onto the letters and Frank ignited the spark, fire materializing and devouring the letters slowly but surely. Frank wrapped his arm around Gerard's waist, pulling him closer as the two watched. They were there for each other, through the fire and how it burns. Through sickness and through pain. Through all the dark times and struggles. To the end, they were together. And as much as that sounds like a marriage proposal, neither of them had yet to ask the other out. Like the spark of the flame, they had shared a spark for a long time. All that was left to do was to ignite the fire, and Frank was ready to pour the gasoline. He turned to Gee, gently holding the other's face and bringing it to his.

Flames ignited in both their hearts.

Frank felt like the most alive dead-man-walking in the world.

 

(a/n)

Sorry it's really short. I've been really busy and I wanted to get another chapter out there for you guys

also HHHH IT'S THE FIRST KISS EWIFUHOFNEDEJFHJEWFN I'M FANBOYING REAL HARD RN


	10. Part 10

Frank had been nervous all morning, there was no denying that but fuck, he was more nervous than he probably had ever been in his life. Gee sat there, looking over at him with their hazel eyes glinting in the sun. Their ruby-colored hair shone in the sunlight, greatly contrasting the darkness of Frank's denim jacket, which they'd been wearing all day, as well as a monochrome striped shirt. Dear god, Frank could probably go on for hours about just how absolutely stunning Gee was.

That's what made things that much harder.

"What did you wanna ask me, Frankie?" They asked, taking a sip of their caramel iced coffee (still as basic as ever), and smiling at Frank, who looked...nervous to say the least.

Gee couldn't wrap their head around why Frank always looked so nervous. Sure, they had been complete strangers when they'd practically moved in together, but Gee thought they had gotten closer since then. Still, Frank always seemed a little jumpy and distant, as if he was constantly second-guessing himself. Gee couldn't wrap their head around why, though. He was just so...amazing. And hot as well. The way his dark hair fell into his deep, constantly focused eyes just made Gee want to freak out internally. Which they often did, but Frank didn't need to know about that. After all, they were kind of like...best friends. That's all Gee thought they were, or could be, because god, they couldn't imagine who would want to date them. However, Frank could, because he may or may not want to.

"I...uh..." He started, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment as he looked down at his coffee, steam billowing into the oddly brisk air around them. "I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner tonight or something."

"You mean, like, a date?"

"Y- I, UH, I mean no?"

"Oh. Cool."

Frank stared down at his lap, fidgeting with his gloved fingers for a moment before continuing. "Listen. I-I would love to take you on a date, but I...I don't think I'm really ready for a relationship. You're really sweet and you're the best friend I could ever ask for, but that's just it; you're my best friend, and I don't want to lose that."

"Hey," Gee started, gently lifting up Frank's chin with their thumb, smiling as he met their eyes. "I get it. I don't want to lose you as my best friend either. If going as friends is what makes you happiest, then I'd love to, Best Friend." They giggled softly, making Frank grin as he gently pulled his face away from the other.

"So, where should we go on our friend date?" Frank asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Mm. I don't know. Somewhere with spaghetti."

"Seriously? You ask the Italian kid to a place with spaghetti?"

"Wait, you're Italian?"

"Oh my god. You really are oblivious to everything, aren't you?"

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Whatever."

They both laughed a bit, drank a bit of coffee, joked a bit, etcetera. Things just flowed naturally, as if the friend-zoning had never happened in the first place. Their relationship just worked, whether platonic or otherwise and even after a minor setback or two, they bounced back even closer. Because no matter their damage, or their past, or anything like that, they were there for each other. 

Until death do they part.

X O X O X O X O X O

"Are you gonna be upset if I wear a dress?"

"...No?" Frank looked over at Gee, who was currently flipping through the closed they had claimed (Frank insisted that he didn't need it anymore, and Gee had way more clothes than him at this point.)

"I didn't know if cross-dressing was your thing now."

"There is no way in hell I'm ever wearing a dress again."

"Whaaaat? You looked adorable in that dress, dude. Guys in dresses are hot."

"Sorry, Gee. My masculinity is too fragile for that. You'll have to wear enough dresses for both of us."

"Fair enough."

Gee selected a small, black sundress and smiled at it for a moment before marching off to the bathroom, leaving Frank to his own devices. Which mostly meant coughing a bunch of times. He snatched a tissue from a box near his bed, coughing into it, mainly due to the fact he felt something like lung jelly moving around in his chest. Although, once the mini-coughing fit was over, blood had leaked through the tissue and stained his hands. His eyes widened at it and he quickly tucked it into his pocket, running into the kitchen to go wash off his hands. Although, the blood wouldn't come off for a moment. It had stained him, tainted him, just like it had and fuck, now he was crying over the sink, frantically trying to wash out the blood, was it out of his blood. The red came off soon, but the memory of it was still there. It would never wash out, no matter how hard he had tried. It would stain him until the day he died which, judging by what just happened, might not be too far in the future.

X O X O X O X O X O

They had settled for the nearby Olive Garden, an old classic that Frank often avoided, solely for the reason their food wasn't always authentic.

"I'm telling you! Real Italian food is actually good. I mean, this is okay, but this isn't good."

"What are you talking about? This is great!"

"No, it's not. You should've tried my Nonna's cooking. She was like a cooking goddess. She would put all of this to shame!"

"She should work here, then. They could probably use her improvement, I guess."

"She would probably just make the kitchen staff leave and let her do it all herself. Too bad she's dead."

"That sucks. I would've loved to try her food."

"Mm. She'd like you, Gee." Frank flashed a smile at his best friend, who simply blushed a bit and returned to their spaghetti. They had settled for the black sundress, adding a bit to it by tying a red ribbon around their waist. They had also paired it with a deep purply-red eyeshadow and some intense eyeliner; in other words, they looked gorgeous and Frank was trying his best not to just stare the entire fucking time. Frank had ordered fettuccine alfredo, his Nonna's favorite dish to make, but it tasted like shit. But of course, none of that mattered, because Gee looked fucking gorgeous, and Frank was on a date with them.

A friend date, to be precise.

And it was currently killing both Frank and Gee.

The night went on smoothly after that, the two of them laughing and talking the night away. Although, at one point, the server asked if they were together, they simply shook their heads and laughed it off. They were definitely confusing the people around them, though, especially when Gee leaned in and Frank did as well, them sealing their night with a kiss.

But they were just friends.

Right?

(A/N)  
Sksksksks I love this so much holy hell


	11. Part 11

"So.....popcorn?"

 

"What kind of question even is that? Of course!"

 

"Alrighty, Gerard. The best popcorn you've ever had, coming up!"

Frank tossed the bag in the microwave, Gerard grinning from the couch as he did so.

"I have to ask; is it really the best popcorn I've ever had?"

"That all depends on if you like kettle corn."

"Who doesn't like kettle corn?"

"My entire family except me, that's who."

"Dear god. They must have terrible lives."

"Nope. Most of them are just homophobic assholes, so I don't pity them."

"Oof."

"You're an adult. Why the hell are you saying 'oof'?"

"I'm still eighteen! I'm allowed to say 'oof' all I want."

 

"Whatever."

The microwave beeped, Frank turning and removing the popcorn. He grabbed some butter as well as sugar and carefully cut open the corner of the bag, tossing in the butter and sugar before closing it and shaking it around.

"Bon appetit!" Frank exclaimed, bringing the bag over to the couch and sitting down next to Gerard, who dropped the remote he was holding and snatched the popcorn instead. Frank simply shrugged and picked up the remote while his roommate happily munched on the kettle corn.

"This is really good, Frankie~" He practically moaned. Leave it to Gerard to sound like he's getting turned on by popcorn.

"I, uh, I'm glad you like it." Frank pressed play, setting down the remote and taking some popcorn for himself. "So, what movie did you pick?"

"Nightmare on Elm Street," Gerard commented between bites, still smiling down at the popcorn like a fucking soft bean.

"Woah, rad! I love this movie!" Frank sat up a bit and Gerard nuzzled up to him, resting his head on Frank's chest while he continued to munch softly. Even though the screams and violence had already commenced, the two were still cuddling, watching the movie comfortably as people were murdered before their eyes. They were lucky they had a relationship like this; they could cuddle and call each other nicknames and even kiss once in a while, but it never felt unnatural, even though Frank still was hesitant to call them an official couple. Even though both of them knew they wanted it, they still didn't quite know how to get past the barriers that kept them separate. Even though they were literally on top of each other, it still felt like they were worlds apart.

Gerard could hardly accept himself for who he was.

Frank was going to die at some point.

And yet, none of that matters because fuck, Frank is really comfortable to cuddle and fuck, Gerard is adorable and, just fuck the universe in general. Fuck the odds, because these two are going to make it, by any means necessary. Even if it means just being friends and being there for each other. Which will doubtfully last very long because both of them are incredibly gay, lonely and into each other.

For now, all they wanted to think about was cuddling and the deaths of horror movie characters, and by god, they're gonna do it.

By the time the movie actually ended, Gerard was asleep, and Frank had been staring at the peaceful expression the other wore for a while now. How could he be this okay? His parents just shunned him, he had to remove his brother from their childhood home....god, he's been through so much, and he's just....okay. How is that possible? How can he sleep? Frank couldn't wrap his head around the fact that it was him that made Gerard feel okay. And he was being a hypocrite. Gerard didn't have any knowledge of what had happened to Frank, but he knew it was bad, and how could Frank just...carry on like that? He always carried on, and yet, he didn't at the same time. To put it simply, both of them were in a constant state of falling apart, and it was all confusing as fuck. But hey, maybe life doesn't need to make sense, because they have each other.

"Frankie, you're staring at me." Frank blushed a bit, looking away and blowing some fringe out of his face.

"Oh, uh, sorry about that."

"It's alright. I don't mind it. I just thought there might be something on my face."

"Nope. You're just...uh....you looked peaceful, actually. I'm jealous."

"I was having a nigthmare, actually." Gerard sat up a bit, still snuggled against Frank, only facing away from him this time.

"Wanna talk about it?" Frank snaked his arm around Gerard's stomach and the other melted into his touch, sighing contently.

"Sure, I guess. It was just my parents being....well, my parents. They caught me kissing a fellow classmate once in second grade or some shit, but I always dream about this. The boy was actually the one who kissed me, I think his name was Andrew or some shit, but anyway, my parents still lost their shit. They grounded me and even burned a few of my drawings, I think."

 

"Jesus...."

"Yeah. My father had been particularly drunk that night. He'd been out with his friends, and when they came home, one of them hit me in the nose with a pool cue and..." Gerard paused, hand unconciously covering his nose, as if bracing himself for impact like it's happened only yesterday. "I got a really bad bloody nose and had to go to the hospital. I think that's why I'm so afriad of blood nowadays."

"God, if I had known, I would've screamed at him sooner."

 

"Trust me, it wouldn't help. He said I deserved it afterward."

"I hate your family. Besides Mikey. Mikey's cool."

"Yeah, he is. I'm guessing you see why I moved out so early."

 

"Didn't you get kicked out?"

"Hush."

 

(A/N)  
Man I love this so much. And I know the end is gonna hurt so bad. I sincerely apologize to you all ahead of time <3


	12. Part 12

"Shhh. It's okay, Frankie. Be quiet." He'd said, pressing his finger to my lips. It tasted like alcohol and something that made my tongue go a little fuzzy and numb. In fact, everything felt a little fuzzy and numb. It felt like I'd been scooped out, my insides replaced by clouds and sunny days that felt oddly blissful; One of the days that's nice but makes you sleepy, and you just don't question it. You go along with it because naps are nice and the day is nice and you never wonder for a moment why you're so tired, why you just don't feel like existing anymore. It felt like one of those days inside of bones.

My eyes were at least three-quarters closed. I was soooo sleepy, and I just wanted to sleep forever; to die in this blissful state.

My stomach felt a bit like death. Everything felt like death. In fact, my throat felt like glass, threatening to shatter. Oh. Right. Because I'd been screaming.

"N-No. I don't want to. I-I gotta get back to Jamia and my fffffreinds."

"No, you don't. Now shut up, faggot."

My eyes fell closed, slowly and gracefully, even though what happened wasn't graceful in the slightest. I reached towards the sky, in a valiant attempt to stay awake and protest, but I failed miserably. Like Icarus, I fell down, away from the sun as the feeble wings that had carried me for so long failed. I fell into a blissful unconscious state, falling down, down, down into a sea of black. The ocean greeted me as a friend, not as an enemy as it had many times before. It wrapped itself around me, filling my insides with sweet nothing, whispering softly "Shhh. Be quiet."

It told me I wouldn't feel a thing. It lied.

When the time came, I didn't want to come back. I was happy drowning, the waves knocking me down, deeper; the riptide pulling me away from shore. Drowning felt better than being awake, even if it meant being in a perpetual state of dying. I couldn't breathe, but it was okay.

I was happy dying.

I finally knew what it was like to feel my lungs filling up with water. No wonder mermaids are happy all the time.

"FRANK!" 

Frank sat up, the screaming he had been doing ceasing abruptly as Gee released him, worry plaguing their eyes. They looked genuinely scared, standing at the doorway to Frank's room, and even Frank could admit it wasn't a good look for them. It was him who had put it there in the first place, whether he realized it or not. He took as deep of a breath as he could, trying to pump air into his body, which was panicking as much as he was.

"Frank...are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah. Just a little out of breath is all. Why?"

"You were screaming in your sleep. Not just talking, but legitimately screaming and crying. You scared the shit out of me, Frank."

"Sorry."

"Dude, what the fuck happened?"

"Hm?"

They met his eyes, concern filling the hazel irises that glinted in the early sunlight, barely peaking over the skyline. The beauty of the sky didn't match the circumstance at all. The pinks felt like they should be shades of grey and black, the oranges to deep shades of red. It felt like the apocalypse should've been happening around them, except it wasn't. Everything was oddly okay, yet it wasn't.

"You kept saying 'Let go' over and over. And some more stuff I couldn't make out."

"Oh. Sorry."

"No, you don't have to be sorry." They sat down next to Frank, just on the edge of the mattress, staring down at their hands. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"What do you mean?" Frank's voice sounded hoarse and pained, but he only cleared his throat and kept looking over at Gee. His hair fell into his eyes in a weird way, that almost looked like he'd brushed it that way to be edgy, but no; It had fallen that way, looking as though depressed and terrified was his natural setting.

"What happened to you. Why you keep having such bad nightmares. I know they're a symptom of PTSD, which I'm not trying to say anything about you, but I just want to kn-"

"Gee. Listen to me. Nothing happened. I'm fine."

 

"But are you, Frank? Really?"

"W-"

"You keep being so secretive, about your past, and everything going on with you. I feel like you know me so well, more than anyone else, and yet, it's like you're a total stranger. What the fuck, Frank?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know."

"No, you don't."

"Frank, listen; I know I don't have any authority over you, and I can't make you tell me, but goddamnit, I think you owe it to me. I only want to help you and you just...shut me out." Gee reached out and took Frank's hand, weaving their fingers together and staring at their joined hands. "You don't have to tell me, but I want to know. I want to know everything about you. I want to know you better than you know yourself. I want to be that for you, and if you don't want me to, I understand, but I want you to know, to at least know, that's what I want."

"Thank's, Gee, but I really don't want you to know. I don't want you to hate me too."

"I could never hate you, Frankie."

"If you knew, you might just."

"Frank, I-"

"It's in the past," He snapped, Gee jumping back a tiny bit in surprise. "Just let it go, Gee." He sighed softly, rubbing his eyes and leaning over to plant a kiss on the other's forehead. "Go back to sleep, beautiful."

"Fine." They left the room, leaving Frank alone to tuck himself back into bed, quickly drifting back off. Although, none of that did anything to ease Gee's curiosity. Frank was still a mystery to them, and to be honest, he wanted to keep it that way. It's better if Gee doesn't get too attached, especially since they didn't have forever together. Unfortunately, Frank was already way too attached. When the time comes, that's just going to make leaving them so much harder.

 

(A/N)  
Holy hell 

My heart hurt so much writing this

Y'all have no idea

Hopefully you enjoyed though <3


	13. Part 13

Things were tense ever since. It had been two days since Frank's unconscious melt-down, and the two had hardly talked in that time. Gee seemed.....upset, to say the least. They hardly even looked at each other for the two days, only muttering 'excuse me's and 'pass the coffee's. It was like a silent torture, a cry for war between who could hold themselves away from the other the longest. They were both quite the stubborn fucks, so of course, neither of them gave in. Gee caught themselves stealing glances at Frank, but quickly looked away any time Frank noticed.

They were silent most of the time, eyes averted somewhere else, mind lost in thought. Frank didn't bother to fight it. He simply minded his own business, playing guitar and keeping to himself in his room. Gee didn't exactly have a room to keep to themselves in, but they still managed. Gee cooked meals, Frank skipped them. Frank sang, Gee didn't.

Although, it was Gee that broke the silence.

"Frankie...What happened to us?"

"What do you-"

"I mean, we haven't talked in two days. Ever since your stupid nightmare or whatever that was."

"S-Sorry, I-" 

"I don't think you are sorry, Frank." They turned to face him, setting down the bowl they'd been mixing in preperation for lunch. Their pale-colored apron matched their complexion, which looked almost sick with worry. "You really aren't. You keep yourself at arms length from me, and I don't understand. What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything, Gee. Someone else did, and I just...can't get past it. I can't get past it, and I'm sorry, and...god, nevermind."

"Someone else what, Frank? Why can't you tell me?" Tears started to glisten in Gee's eyes, but they wiped them away with the back of their hand.

"I-I just can't. You'll hate me." Frank turned away, biting those chapped lips of his and slouching a bit against the couch. He felt....deflated almost, as if he physically couldn't sit up stragiht, or even turn around to face Gee.

"How could I ever hate you?"

"I'm damaged. No one wants a broken toy." He mumbled. Something just snapped in Gee and they slammed their fist down on the counter, making Frank jump in surprise.

"Goddamnit, Frank! Why won't you listen to me? I'm broken too, okay?" Tears streamed down thier face at this point, disregarding the fact that they didn't want to cry. "I love you. I love you so much, and you can't wrap your fucking head around it because you think you're broken, that you're nothing. You are everything to me. I have literally nothing except you, and I don't even care, because I love you and you're too fucking blind to see it. " They couldn't muster any more words after than, breaking down into tears.

It was at that moment Frank's heart broke; Fucking shattered. Gee took a sledgehammer to it, beating it in with every tear that rolled down their perfect little face. They beat it to smithereens, waiting until only dust remained to take a breath and stop. And even after they'd done that, Frank couldn't be mad; After all, it wasn't their fault they were upset. It was his. So, to make up for it, he walked over slowly and wrapped them in a hug, Gee instinctively burying their face in his shoulder as he held them close.

And he wanted to tell them so bad. He wanted to scream what had happened from the rooftops, to tell the world what had been done to him. He wanted people to know he was a survivor, a fighter, and he was going to go down swinging, but he simply couldn't. The words wouldn't form in his mouth. They hid in his throat, holding on and refusing to let go every time Frank thought he had the courage to speak up. They didn't want to be heard, and Frank didn't want to speak them. He wasn't ready. It had been months, but it was too soon. He...couldn't. As much as Gee deserved to know, he didn't have it in him. Hell, everything was incredibly fuzzy, and he didn't even know every single detail, but at the same time, he did. It was burned into his mind, lurking and waiting for him to nearly forget.

It was cold and raw, but at the same time, familiar and almost comforting. It felt normal to hate himself so much, almost, and he didn't know how to live without it. He felt like it had become a part of him, not ruined him, like he partially knew it had. It had messed him up, ruined the kind, sweet boy that once existed inside of him, now erased from existence. He didn't know how to heal, how to move past it. Talking about it, accepting it meant healing, and he just...couldn't.

"I really am sorry, Gee. I-I can't tell you, but I love you too."

 

(A/N)

Sorry I know it's really short. I couldn't think of anything else to add. I promise the next chapter is gonna be fluffy as hell. It's gonna be fluffy, gay and you're gonna love it I swear

XOXOXO


	14. Part 14

Today wasn't exactly Frank's day. He was coughing and wheezing all morning, and he was currently buried under several scarves, but he still insisted on going to their favorite coffee shop. Ray wasn't working that day, and Frank said a silent thanks to the universe that he wasn't. Ray was very much the mom friend, and he knew that princess Afro would've been worrying like crazy over him. The barista only gave him an odd look, quickly replaced by a shy smile as they handed Frank and Gerard their cups. The two sat down, on opposite sides of each other (mainly as an excuse to look at one another), and drank their coffees in silence for a while.

Frank found himself staring out the window at the hazy, grey day outside. It was incredibly....bleh outside, to say the least. Maybe it was just the atmosphere, constantly being torn apart from the inside by its inhabitants. Frank could relate, of course, but then again, maybe it was just the heavy depression Frank had known for a long time. It was often a companion to those who shared Frank's circumstances, and he knew that, but it still felt pretty odd. It was as if someone had drained all the color from the world around him, leaving everyone in the monochrome shades he'd been feeling on the inside for so long. Gerard was the only one who seemed to have any color left in them, and it was incredible. Frank couldn't help but smile over at them, even though they were making a funny face at him.

"What? Do I have something on my face?"

"Nope. On your cup."

"Wha-"

"Look. Next to your name."

Frank lowered the cup from his mouth and turned it over in his hands, Gerard still staring at it like it was poisonous. Sure enough, next to the name 'Frank' scrawled on to his cup, there was a phone number written down with a wink besides it. Frank snorted, laughing out loud as both the barista and Gerard looked pissed.

"What are you laughing at?" He asked, looking very pissed. 

"Someone gave me their number. I can't believe it."

"Why, exactly?"

"Because I'm fuckin' ugly, that's why. Who would give this walking trash can their number?"

"I would've but, I didn't have the opportunity. And you're not ugly, Frankie." He took a sip of his coffee, Frank still chuckling as they rolled their eyes. "I don't understand what you don't see."

"What the hell does that even mean?" Frank asked, trying to contain his laughter as he took another sip of his hot coffee. On the opposite side, Gerard glared at Frank as they set their iced coffee down, their gaze nearly as cold as ice.

"Frank, you're fucking gorgeous. Your hair falls perfectly and you don't even fucking brush it, your eyes are the most beautiful things I've seen in my life, you're a fucking amazing kisser, you're one of the kindest people I've ever met, and-"

"Gee, chill out."

"I can't, Frank. I love you."

Frank hesitated to reply, taking a sip of coffee before taking a deep, weighted and shaky breath. "You're sure?"

"I've never been more fucking sure of anything in my life."

 

At that, Frank couldn't help but grin. He even laughed a bit, Gee staring while being generally confused. "Me either. Gerard Arthur Way, wanna be my boyfriend?"

 

It was Gerard's turn to grin and he nodded, Frank still laughing as he giggled a bit. "Well that was easier than I thought it would be," Frank started, sighing contently as the laughter died down. The grin never faded though, even as he stood up and gestured for Gee to follow. The other jumped up, carrying his drink in his hand as the two of them left the coffee shop. "I've been trying to work up the nerve to ask that for weeks."

"You wanna know something funny?" They asked, Frank looking into their eyes as they intertwined their fingers with his. "I would've said yes if you'd asked me the moment we met."

"That was so cheesy, I think I'm now lactose intolerant."

"Oh shut it."

"You'll have to make me, boyfriend." Frank pressed his lips to Gerard's, the whole world melting away around the star crossed lovers as they did so. The way their lips simply fit together in a way that felt so right, almost as if they were two halves of a puzzle, molded to join as one. They just...worked. Against all odds, they worked. They found safety in each other's arms, joy in each other's pains, because goddamnit, they were human, and they didn't have forever, which meant they had to enjoy the time they had; Neither of them quite knew just how long they had left, but it didn't matter, because they were in love. Love has no boundaries, physical or social, and they intended to enjoy that. Pressures were surrounding them, the world crumbling slowly to dust, but they would stand there forever, as would their love. Nothing could stop them, and the electricity that passed between their touch ensured it. Frank pulled away after a while, enjoying the view in Gerard's eyes for a moment before clearing his throat. He blushed bright red, wondering how he could still possibly be flustered at one kiss after all this time. "I, uh..."

"You're cute, you know that?" Gerard laughed and kissed the top of Frank's head, which was easy for them seeing the height difference, and Frank scowled; He gently punched Gerard's chest, more like a bump with his knuckles in fear of hurting his fre- boyfriend, but the other only laughed. "Nice try, my funsized love."

"If you ever say that again, it won't be happy for much longer."

 

"Alright, alright! Jesus, Frank." They laughed, and Frank visibly chilled out, a little smirk appearing on his face. "My height-different romance. Huh."

"What the hell?"

 

"I don't know. Don't ask."

"Fair enough, baby."

"Why are you calling me baby? You're the one who's-"

 

"Don't fucking say it."

"...baby sized."

"Don't make me regret this."

"Oh, too late, darling."

 

(A/N)  
SKSKSKSKK AHHHHH I LOVE IT SO MUCH   
I HOPE Y'ALL ENJOY   
THE GAY IS STRONG WITH THIS CHAPTER   
THERE MAY OR MAY NOT BE ANGST AHEAD I CAN'T REMEMBER BUT ENJOY THIS. SAVOR IT. But most importantly, SHIP IT

Alright I'm leaving now sorry 

<3


	15. Part 15

(A/N)

Wow it's at the beginning this time

This chapter has a specific warning because it can be generally upsetting

Warnings: The beginnings of smut (but no actual smut), flashbacks, making out and stuff

Okay have fun

X O X O X O X O X

Three months had passed since the two had begun dating, and everything had been going smoothly. Frank hadn't had any medical scares, which he thanked the heavens for, since Gerard still didn't know about his...disposition. His nightmares had seemingly vanished as well, which was great news for the two of them. Gerard had randomly decided that Frank's bed was their bed now, and Frank didn't object. Every time Frank felt himself panicking at night, arms would wrap around him and he would instantly feel his worry melting away. They had become close, closer than they could ever have imagined. Although, there was one way they weren't close. They still hadn't had sex. Now, it's not something that's required for a relationship, but Gerard found himself undeniably and sexually attracted to Frank, and Frank would agree, but every time it even crossed his mind, he panicked. He didn't know how to feel or what to do. Even the thought of intimacy beyond cuddling or kissing unnerved Frank; As much as he didn't want it to, it did. Gerard had been respectful of that, of course, in complete and utter fear of losing Frank, but tonight, he found it difficult.

Frank had decided tonight of all nights to wear his shirt with rips in it. He had a large tattoo on his stomach and one was not as many as he would like to have, but the delicately brutal ink was showing through some of the rips; You could say Gerard had a thing for ink, because he kept staring the entire night, completely losing focus of the movie they had been watching. He could see ribbons of black underneath, largely contrasting the beautifully pale skin Frank had over the rest of him. From what he could see, it was a bird, with an X over its eye and swirls of ink surrounding it. It was only on one side, though, and goddamn, Frank was getting more and more attractive to Gerard by the second. Setting all his inhibitions aside, Gerard pulled Frank into a kiss, Frank dropping the remote he had in his hands to cup Gerard's cheeks. He didn't know what had come over his cherry-haired partner, but he didn't question it. Gerard tilted his head, deepening the kiss and Frank scooted a bit closer in response. The two of them just enjoyed it for a moment, Frank breaking the kiss for a moment and resting his forehead against Gerard's.

"God, I love you." Frank said, and Gerard simply reconnected their lips, kissing Frank more passionately as he felt bolder and bolder. Frank made a small noise of surprise when Gerard slipped his tongue into the other's mouth, but didn't object as he reached up to card his fingers through the other's cherry hair. They continued like this for a bit, giving and taking and moving as one, although it came to a screeching halt; Gerard slipped his hands under the hem of the hem of Frank's shirt, and didn't even wait for a night before pulling it over Frank's head. Gerard then made the mistake of letting his gaze fall down to Frank's fully-clothed lower half. Frank felt his stomach drop and he instantly started hyperventilating, Gerard's eyes widening as he rushed to wrap Frank in his arms. He knew he'd gone too far, and Frank only reminded him of that as he pushed Gerard off of him, the demiboy falling off the couch and on to the floor.

"Don't touch me, don't touch me, don't touch me please." Frank was clearly panicking, made obvious by the fact that tears were streaming down his face and he hugged his knees to his bare chest, still hyperventilating.

"What's wrong, Frankie?" Gerard asked, sitting up from off the floor and slowly moving towards his significant other. Frank shrunk back from Gerard, sobs racking his body. His skin felt clammy and so exposed, like he was right back again, back to the place where it happened. Back to prom. Back to senior year, which he'd fought so hard to erase from his mind. Gerard didn't even look anything like him, but it didn't matter, because as he looked at the man who tried to undress him, he could only see the man who had succeeded.

"I-I...I.." Frank just broke, then and there, letting his head fall into his knees as he just sobbed. Gerard broke too, but in a different way; it physically hurt him to watch, to see the boy he loved crying uncontrollably. It hurt to see what he'd done, and he had no idea how to piece the other back together, so he simply went with the first thing that came to mind.

"Frank, I need you to breathe. Can you do that?"

"No."

"I think you can. Just breathe with me. In, and out." Gerard breathed slowly, making sure it was audible so Frank could follow it. The other peered up at Gerard through his messy, black hair, green orbs meeting the hazels before him. Frank took a deep, shaky breath and Gerard smiled softly. "There you go. Now keep it up. You got this." He continued to breathe deeply, Gerard not moving from his spot as he kept the smile on his face; it only masked a bit of the worry, but it would have to be good enough. "May I hug you?" Frank nodded frantically, since everything about him was currently frantic, and Gerard moved on to the couch next to him, wrapping his arms around the other and cradling Frank in his arms while he cried and cried.

Frank knew he was crying because of just how much of a reminder it was, but he was also crying for the main reason that he himself would remind him of the monster who haunted his dreams. He knew Gerard definitely was not a top (who doesn't?), which meant Frank would be the one who was. And if things hadn't happened to him the way they had, he would be okay with that. But all he could think of was Gerard, laying there as he had while someone...it physically hurt Frank to feel like this. He would be just as bad as him, and Frank would rather his cancer take him on the spot than let that happen. Illness aside, Frank just..couldn't. He couldn't be there for Gerard in this way, and it was quite obvious in this moment.

But Gerard couldn't know any of this, of course, so instead of explaining, he simply cried himself to sleep while Gerard dried his tears the whole time.


	16. Part 16

"How do you like it, baby?"

"Hot, dark, pai-"

"I didn't mean that suggestively, ew, Gerard what the fuck?"

"What? I want black coffee that's so hot it burns your mouth."

"You are so weird."

"Mm. But you're the one who asked me out, so you're stuck with it."

"You don't even like black coffee."

The barista smiled awkwardly at the couple, both of them realizing the poor teen was still standing there and waiting to take their order, not wanting to hear their weird sexual innuendos. Frank cleared his throat and ordered, Gerard smirking the whole time. Frank tried his hardest not to laugh, but he failed pretty terribly once Gerard answered "The gayest gay" for his name. The two drank their coffee inside, smiling at each other and laughing together the whole time. Gerard's long, messy hair had grown out quite a bit, and his dark roots were showing, largely contrasting the flashy red that covered the rest of his hair. He'd grown to be more comfortable with himself, now wearing dresses, skirts, skinny jeans and sweatpants interchangeably. He felt the way he dressed didn't dictate his gender, and Frank more than happily supported him. Frank, on the other hand, hadn't changed much at all. His hair was much longer, sure, but other than that, he still looked generally the same. Still wore the same few band shirts, wore the same jeans over and over until he couldn't anymore, and still had the same troubled, beautiful gaze that never rested far from Gerard. He was quite a bit paler, and it was obvious he wasn't feeling great today, but Frank was fairly used to the icky, constantly pained haze that had settled in his bones. Today, as nice and peaceful and happy the day was, Frank felt especially hazy. His head felt light and fuzzy, as if every time he tried to think, it was like forcing his thoughts through molasses. Gerard could tell he was slightly off, but he tried not to comment on it. He knew Frank would only get defensive over it, and it would only brew fighting, so he just did his best to ignore it.

Frank knew Gerard was talking at the moment, but his voice felt distant to Frank, as if he was yelling from across a trench. The words echoed in his head, syllables getting lost here and there as they pulsed and swung around in the catacombs of his mind. Letters echoed and swirled, words splitting at the seams and fluttering around into empty nothingness.

"So what do you think?"

"Huh?"

"I was saying I'm thinking of dying my hair blonde."

 

"To be honest, your hair would look great as any color."

"You really think so?"

"Of course! You look gorgeous no matter what, babe."

"God, you're gonna make me blush."

 

"Then blush away, my darling."

Gerard's cheeks heated up at that, and Frank snickered, standing up with his cup in hand. "You ready to go?"

"Mhm!" Gerard giggled in a hushed manner and stood up, taking Frank's free hand as the two walked out of the shop. Frank could've sworn he'd heard somebody call his name, and he turned his head to see, but there was no one there. His own name echoed, like a call through a cave he'd wandered into, lost and in the dark. Bat's squeaked, creatures unknown shuffled around, water dripped, and-

"Frank?"

"Yeah?"

 

"Are you doing okay? You seem...out of it."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just feel a little dizzy is all."

"You sure? You're kinda walking funny."

 

"Mhm. Diiizy."

"I, uh, okay."

Frank's eyes fell onto the endless static of the cement before him, the colors blending and shifting and swimming across his sight. The endless static, the noise of the chattering of a thousand angels, awaiting a command from the remote that was the very core of his brain, but not receiving one. Because he was blank, his mind was blank, and he couldn't remember a time when it hadn't been.

It had been blank when he was a child, staring at the football in front of him, not yet knowing to kick it or pass it, but knowing enough to run out of the way when it was coming towards him. It had been blank when he was an early teen, getting punched over and over by the boys in front of him, emptying his wallet in front of his eyes as no tears spilled that day. It had even been blank as he was lead away from the prom, a kiss on his lips and a tainted drink in hand. He had always been a mess and it always would be.

Everything felt so hazy, the colors warping and swirling and swishing, like the universe flushing his brain down the toilet, as if the tissues exploded into a rainbow of colors the moment it hit the water. Now, it was all swirling around in an endless stream of 'not okay'. It was all swirling, swirling and spinning and spinning and screaming and crying and laughing and dying and all of the sudden, the cement was greeting Frank's face like an old friend. A sickening thump sounded as his body connected with the concrete, all his senses flicking off like a light switch as he fell unconscious.

"FRANK!" Gerard rushed over, phone in hand and 911 already dialed. He knelt down next to Frank as he started talking, one hand on the phone but the other turning Frank over. His nose looked a little bashed up, and there were a few scratches on his face, but his eyes were closed. Bad sign. "Hello? M-My boyfriend just collapsed on the street. No, he hadn't been drinking. W-We don't have a car. We're at the Café Rosalba. Please hurry!" Gerard hanging up quickly, he picked up Frank in his arms and cradled him close, rocking him ever so slightly. "Please wake up, please be okay, please please please." He felt something wet in his hands and he looked down at them in horror, seeing blood mixed with a bit of coffee. This was all too familiar, the blood, the sirens, the blue and red flashing over the street as they put Frank on a stretcher, Gerard not even getting to say goodbye before they slammed the doors shut, taking his whole world with them as the ambulance drove away.


	17. Part 17

Gerard had not slept in over twenty-four hours, and to be brutally honest, he felt like shit. But he couldn't sleep. He couldn't even close his eyes, because the moment he did, Frank might wake up, and he couldn't miss that. He wouldn't miss that for the world. He missed his boyfriend so much, it hurt, and it had only been a day. And yet, they lived together and spent every day together. It felt like a piece of him was missing, like he was only half of a puzzle and the rest of the pieces were spilled on the floor, scattered so far, but Gerard couldn't pick them up because he was a fucking puzzle. A puzzle can't pick up another puzzle, and right now, he was praying that someone would come along and either pick up the pieces or scatter him too.

The hospital was more intimidating than he remembered it to be. It was all pristine, white floors and walls, scare decor and a bunch of chairs in an awkward yet still intimidating. He sat in the corner, legs crossed but bouncing nervously. There was another person in the waiting room, no older than seventeen or so, wearing a hospital gown that flattered her muddy-brown hair and matching eyes. She was currently staring at Gerard, probably trying to piece together little details about him; The worried look, the knee bouncing, him wringing his hands and looking around nervously.

"Are you okay, dude?" The girl asked and Gerard looked up at her, tossing on a friendly smile.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

"What are you in for?" Her voice was sweet, just like windchimes and honey, and it made Gerard just the slightest bit nostalgic.

"Oh. My boyf- uh, partner passed out on the street yesterday. They did some CAT scans and they're just waiting for him to wake up."

"I'm not against you guys, don't worry. I bet you make a cute couple." She smiled softly at him, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "I'm in for an abortion."

"Oh-"

"Don't apologize. It happened. I was raped. My boyfriend probably would've killed the guy if he wasn't already in jail."

"I, uh...it's good he's in jail." He swallowed harshly, averting his eyes to the doors that swung open. But it wasn't for him. It was a taller boy, around 6'3, who ran over to the girl, his leather jacket fluttering a bit.

"Breezy, oh my god. I just had to argue with about three doctors just to see you."

"Dallon, sweetheart, it's alright. I'm not a baby."

"You're only seventeen."

"And you're only eighteen, but you act like you're way older than me." Gerard suddenly felt like he was intruding on something and he shuffled awkwardly. They were clearly very in love, and he knew it by what he assumed was the sound of kissing; He'd been looking away, trying not to be awkward but making it more awkward in the process. He wished that was him and Frank- No, that doesn't sound right. He wished that he and Frank could be kissing right now. He wished the two of them could be as open and honest with each other as that couple was, but alas, Gerard knew it was highly unlikely that would ever happen.

Gerard looked up, seeing the doors open again. This time, the nurse waved to him and he stood up, following and leaving the kissing couple behind. He walked quickly, the nurse walking faster than he thought she would, and she nodded to one of the doors, pressing a finger to her lips and winking.

"You can go see him, just don't tell the other doctors." He gave her a thankful look, the silence among them in agreement and he went inside, closing the door behind him.

Frank lay on a stereotypical hospital bed, an IV protruding from his arm and a peaceful look on his face. He looked nothing like all the countless nights they'd slept beside one another. He looked so calm, which Gerard knew had to be drug induced. Frank would never be this calm in a place like this.

He wore a hospital gown, the same as the girl in the lobby, but it made him look...sickly. He looked simultaneously broken and at peace, which honestly kind of terrified Gerard. He walked over to Frank, picking up the other's hand and holding it gently in his own. Frank's fingers twitched in his sleep, brushing against Gerard ever so slightly and making his breath catch in his throat. The contact felt incredible, even if it is only their hands touching. Gerard wanted so badly to just kiss him, and have everything be okay. Instead, he settled for a kiss on the forehead, knowing that would come eventually. When Frank decided to wake up would be when he woke up, regardless of how worried it was actually making Gerard.

"Excuse me, Ms..." Gerard spun around at about ninety miles an hour, blushing a bit and facing who he assumed was the doctor. She was shorter than him, but she had a bold presence, one that demanded attention. She had short, kid-style pigtails in her raven-black hair, and even with those she managed to look prestigious. Gerard had the feeling she wasn't the kind of woman you would want to mess around with.

"Actually, it's Mx." Gerard said shyly, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear. She scribbled something out on her clipboard and wrote something down before clearing her throat.

"Sorry about that! You must be....Gerard? Are you Frank's partner?"

"Yes, that's me."

"Okay, good. I'm Doctor Ballato, but you can call me Lindsey. I'm Frank's personal doctor."

"Oh, nice to meet you. Frank never mentioned he had a personal doctor."

"Most people are embarrassed about that kind of thing, so I'm not surprised."

"Oh, alright."

"I'm just here to check Frank's vitals and all. When I was here last, his brain activity was almost usual for someone awake, so he might not be asleep for much longer."

"That's good to hear." He let Dr. Ballato go about her business, checking the monitors and changing out the IV- Gerard looked away for that part, but she was gone just as suddenly as she arrived, leaving the boy alone with his sleeping boyfriend. Gerard sighed softly, remembering what Frank had been like when he was...okay. (Gerard had a serious attachment to this boy, and even one day was like torture to him.) He was awake, awake and unafraid. Now, he might just be asleep, or even dead. And Gerard couldn't stand being alone, with a boy who just might never be the same again. 

 

(A/N)  
Sorry this update took so long! Enjoy the sadness lmao. It's only here for one more chapter and then we'll have some fluff for a while ^v^


	18. Part 18

"Alright, Mr. Iero. You're free to go." Frank adjusted the flannel shirt he'd arrived in, wincing as his hands ran over a bruise near his neck. He'd woken up a few hours ago, and he'd been waiting the entire time through blood drawings and other assorted tests just to see Gerard. He'd never gotten to tell them he loved them, never got to say goodbye, and even though he didn't plan on leaving any time soon, it was a close call. This was the first health scare he'd had in a while, and he was very thankful for that, but did it really have to be that bad? Like, come on, universe.

"Thank fucking god." The nurse shot him an annoyed look but he ignored it, strolling out of the hospital room regardless. Floor tiles sped past him as he ran through the halls, dodging other patients and hugging corners. He was on a mission: Find Gee and kiss them like he'd never kissed them before, because fuck, he needed too. It didn't take him long to find the waiting room, and when his eyes landed on the firey red hair he'd been dreaming of for the past day and a half, he felt his heart soar.

Gerard still hadn't slept since Frank had been admitted, and it really showed. He was sitting in the corner, cradling a cup of coffee in his arms, a blanket draped over his shoulders and a magazine in his lap. His tired, darkly-bagged eyes scanned the glossy pages, his pale skin shining a bit from the reflection of light. His hair clearly hadn't been washed or brushed in a while, and it stood up in random spots, but it was absolute perfection. He didn't look up until Frank had ran over and pressed his lips to Gerard's, the other's eyes widening as he gasped against the kiss.

"Frankie?"

"Morning, Gee."

"It's four in the afternoon."

"Potato, pohtahto." They resumed the kiss promptly, Frank cupping Gerard's cheek gently for a moment. They both had to stop to take a breath, though, and they shared a relieved laugh as they did so.

"I hate to interrupt, but you have some forms to sign, Mr. and.....Mx. Iero." Gerard instantly blushed and Frank turned around, the lady sitting at the desk holding out papers. Frank went over to grab them and sat down next to Gerard, the other still blushing like crazy. He finished the papers fairly quickly, seeing as they only asked for his signature and billing method mostly. He checked off boxes here and there, pausing when he came to a certain one:

▢ CANCER IN ANY FORM

He sighed, checking the box off and stood up, handing the papers back to the lady. She shuffled the papers together and tucked them away in a folder, smiling at him and clicking the mouse to her computer a few times.

"Are you going to be getting your CAT scans done here? Or your other tests? I know you usually get them elsewhere, but Dr. Ballato suggested we use the technology here. We have r-"

"No, thank you."

 

"Wait, what are they talking about, Frank?" Gerard asked, standing up and shuffling over with his blanket still draped over his shoulders.

"Nothing, Gee."

"You're wife doesn't know?"

"Husband," Gerard corrected, regardless of the fact they weren't actually married. He had written that they were married in order to be able to visit Frank, and Frank had guessed as such. "And no. What don't I know?"

"Nothing." Frank glared at the office lady and took Gerard's hand, leading him outside in silence. 

 

"Frankie, what was that about?"

"It's nothing, Gerard. Don't worry." Gerard stopped in his tracks, Frank continuing walking but being jerked back by his hand.

"Frank Anthony Thomas fucking Iero Jr., tell me what the fuck is going on." Frank's long, shaggy, dark hair fell into his eyes and he looked up at Gerard through it, his eyes glistening with tears that had materialized in an instant.

"Gee, I can't."

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because you won't want to be with me after I tell you." With a little tug of Frank's arm, he pulled him into a hug, Gerard feeling the other shake a bit as he did so.

"Frank, listen to me; I will never leave you. You can't make me want to leave you. You couldn't even get rid of me if you tried." Frank chuckled at that, sniffling and wiping away the tears that littered his face.

"Alright."

"Alright?"

"Alright. You need to let me go, though."

"Oh, yeah, sorry."

Gerard released him, taking a hold of his hand instead, and they began walking back to their appartment. It was only about a thirty minute walk back, but Frank had the feeling it was going to feel like an eternity.

"Remember the night we met?"

"Kinda. I was really drunk. There's pieces of it."

"Okay. I mean, like, how I just randomly found you in that alley?"

"Yeah, I remember."

"Well it wasn't random. I wasn't looking persay, but you were easy to find. I was walking directly down the middle of the street. Specifically past the bar, since I knew it was really busy."

"Frank, that's the most dangerous road in the entire city."

"I know. That's why I was doing it."

"Frank, I-"

"The doctors told me I had HIV. A really deadly case, too. They gave me a smile, a 'sorry for your loss' card and a death sentence." Gerard stayed silent as he continued. "I-I didn't know how to function. I didn't know how to breathe or to think or to just exist since it happened." Soft, sad and guilty-looking eyes fell onto Frank's, and he knew the question Gerard was about to ask before he actually did. "I was raped at my senior prom. Some asshole drugged my drink, gave me HIV and here I am; Unable to have sex with the man I love and in a constant state of dying." Frank didn't have time to continue, because Gerard pressed his lips to Frank's gently, squeezing his hand gently. Frank intstantly kissed back, keeping the soft, warm, cotton candy cloud-ness of it, and enjoying it, because it was still one of the best feelings in the world. He'd never get sick of that.

"Fraaaank," Gerard started, breaking the kiss and smiling like a goofball. "You said you love me!"

"Yeah, idiot. I do."

"Well guess what?"

"Wha-"

 

"I love you too."

"Awwww yeah!" Frank did a little fist pump and Gerard giggled, kissing Frank's forehead and making the other blush. "I really....god, thank you so much, Gerard. I thought this was going to be a way bigger deal than it was. My...my parents told me it was my fault, and called me a bunch of slurs and said I asked for it because I was gay, but I hadn't even come out to them yet, and I-I-" His voice broke, and so with it, Gerard's heart. Another few tears fell down his face and Gerard tucked a piece of hair behind Frank's ear, gently sweeping away the drops with his thumb. "I had to leave. That's why I live alone, that's why I never call, that's why I-"

"Darling, it's alright. I don't care. I love you, and I'm never going to stop. Even if we can't have sex, I don't care."

"Y-You're sure? You wouldn't rather have someone who c-can give you what you need?"

 

"You're all I need, love. And besides, sex is way overrated." That was all it took for Frank to grin, and smash his lips against Gerard's soon after, both of them just trying to absorb the colors each other were giving off. The soft, orangey-pink sunset of Gerard's delicate lips, dancing across Frank's dark emerald and pastel yellows. Their hearts beat in sync, like the drumline of a marching band, the deep bass their hearts, the gentle flutes singing softly and the trumpets, blaring thoughts in their minds. Cotton candy kisses beat sex any day. 

 

(A/N)  
!!!!!GUYS IT'S CUTE SKSKS!!!!!

THIS MADE ME REALLY HAPPY TO WRITE (OR THE END AT LEAST)

COMMENT, VOTE, SHARE WITH YOUR BROS PLEASE BC EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS

ALRIGHT I'LL STOP YELLING 

XOXOXOXOX AUTHOR


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